Dear Tigger- Sorry to hear about the problems you're having with your slave! Perhaps you should try putting a little dab of 8-In-1 Prozac paste on her belly for a few days and let her lick that off. (What better time to do her nails!) Sometimes our Hooman needs a little chocolate to bring her around when she's really down in the dumps. For a special treat, let her dig in a plant, she may be longing for spring. Potted miniature roses are always nice. Oh, yes, don't forget to watch her poops for a few days! She may have eaten something awful, like a 1040 Tax Form. Keep her AWAY from the Registry of Motor Vehicles for a while. If her Mate is giving her a hard time, scruff him and say "No Nagging!" Then send him outside to work on his truck for a time-out. Sincerely, Switch the Kit & Sabrina the Bat-Biter In Massachusetts [Posted in FML issue 3703]