Dear Ferret Folks- I wish that my new kit Switch had posted her "To-Do" list somewhere visible this morning. It might have lessened the shock. Kits are not like ferrets, especially not like the older ferrets I have always had experience with. While they resemble ferrets externally, I hypothesize that they are actually linked to all the so-called "missing dark matter" that astrophysists insist makes up 90 percent of the known universe by weight. Scientists can't account for it. Either kits have stashed it under the furniture, or they are simply composed of it. That might account for the six kiloton destruction done by my three-quarter pound kit this afternoon. If I had a copy of her "To-Do" list today, it would have looked something like this: Memo to Myself- 1) Chew through the cloth outer coating of my soft donut toy and tear all it's polyfill guts out. Strew over bottom of cage. 2)Move all the poop boxes, and poop on the cage floor where they had been. Add polyfill.Stir. 3)Tear the jingling kitty toy from the end of the string it dangles from inside the cage. Roll it through poop. 4)During outside play time, knock over stereo speakers. 5)Strip leaves from dead plant, crush, and strew over thirty square feet of carpet. 6)Up-end and empty contents of wastepaper basket out onto floor. 7)Climb into antique baby-crib, toss all of the stuffed toys out of it and onto the floor. 8)Climb through cardboard box of supplies looking for container of weasel grease. 9)Take Cheerios away from long-suffering, much older cage mate. Not to eat, mind you, just to have. 10)Last but not least, repeatedly climb the legs of human slave attempting to clean the horror that I have made of the cage. When possible, back up six feet and charge full tilt toward the human. Leap into the air while dooking, climb leg. Repeat. Repeat. Repeat. Repeat. Repeat. Repeat. Tired in Massachusetts, Alexandra [Posted in FML issue 3652]