Don't anyone get offended, this is just the pouring out of sadness that is in my heart. I am sure that by tomorrow I will feel alittle better and more able to take on the world and whatever it wants to throw in my direction. I just got back from the vets office. My first and also my oldest ferret and best friend went in for a follow-up visit and to get the results of some test that were run. Not good news. My Stinky is not doing very well(I know lots of others are doing alot worse. And my heart aches for the fuzzies and their humans.) It is sad to say that at this point it is sort of a wait and watch game(by the way, this game is not fun.) Stinky has a very enlarged heart, adrenal cancer(as in cancer, not disease), the beginnings of renal failure and has to go back for liver function test. I just could not listen to any more tonight. I have been giving Stinky all of these meds, reading the FHL to find out about the different herbal treatments, and guess what, it has not made one bit of difference. But I should not be to sad. Stinky will be eight in March. And he is still here right now and he is one terrific little furry friend to boot. Even though I have eight other ferrets(and more to come in the future, I am sure), and of course there will be other little rescues, but there will never be another Stinky. But I am lucky, I still have Stinky with me tonight. Stinky is my first ferret, And my first rescue, the alpha ferret and the teacher of all the things I never wanted passed on to others. I do have great memories and photographs. And I still have time to create a few more memories. Stinky is a dark sable. When I rescued Stinky he was all of three months old. He was being tortured by a child that had not been taught any better by a ding-a-ling father. The father did not want his child hurt by this tiny, wild animal(some people just make me sick). If I did not take the ferret than, he was going to turn it loose. By the way, I had to pay this person $100.00 for this little ferret and a piece of junk cage. The cage had pine bedding in the bottom, was the size of a small rabbit cage and nothing to sleep on. No toys, junky cat food(food I would not feed a cat), and a gerbil water bottle that was empty. It took me about ten days to get Stinky not to bite me anymore. He just needed to be handled(gently), loved and learn acceptable play with people. He has always been a little devil. He got his name not because he stinks, but because he is a little stinker. I can remember saying that he would never weasel his little furry way into my heart. Ya! that lasted all of about 5 seconds(record time). And I also remember saying that one was it. Now I have nine. Stinky and his friends have this way of weakening my resolve. Or I am just weak when it comes to these little fur babies. Over the years I have rescued quite a few and lost more than I want to think about, but I never thought about it with such sadness as I feel right now. Sometime down the road(I hope it is a long time), I know that Stinky will have to leave me. I know that one day Stinky will leave this place for the bridge, but I really hope he does not have to suffer one second. It is my duty to keep him as comfortable as possible. Again this is my duty, not to let my little friend suffer one second. Well I guess that I have unloaded enough sad thoughts for one night. Thank You all for reading my ramblings and ravings about sadness. I wish all little fuzzies and their humans only health and happiness. Donna [Posted in FML issue 3598]