A while back, when ferrets were multiplying at our house (what am I saying-they still are) the family didn't know what to do for me for Christmas. So we were in the pet/feed store and there were two little, itty bitty ones. A Cinnamon and a hooded Sable. So they came home with us, being held in the palms of both my hands. I had to soak their food so they could eat, and I dubbed them Calvin and Suzy Derkins. Calvin proved to be the biggest camera ham there has ever been, plus he's Robin Williams. Suzy proved to be the terror of the house. As the group grew, she was the one to decide who was in 'her group'. When Mookie came to live with us, he couldn't walk-he'd been kept too long in a pet store 'tank'. Suzy went tearing by, stopped with this look as if to say, get up boy and run! I found her hitching a ride on him, and I swear she was yelling whoopee tie yi ya. When we rescued the kitten from the interstate, Suzy decided to terrorize Satine, and she did it well. She'd stalk the big cats and A.T. would watched her. He'd wait till she was in paw distance, then pin her with the look of no you don't, girlie girl. When Alix and Bailey came she and Kit accepted them with grace. Calvin, he was too busy with the other boys playing. But when Nibbles came, that was it. Suzy blocked the group, and it's been that way ever since. She had a tiny, pointed face and I always called her fox face, my daughter called her rat face just to irritate me. Suzy liked to play with the hose on the vacuum, have you put the nozzle on her, send her pivotal. And to be grabbed in those tiny teeth and drug to her hidey hole was something of an honor. Have her help with the ceremonial making of the bed and she was in 7th heaven. Last spring she hurt herself, tore a tendon or something. The orthopedic doctor was thrilled to have a ferret to observer, had his whole class in there, and she did well. Dr. Williams told me to tell her her racing days were over (yeah, tell that to Suzy, will you?) For some reason my group has picked up it's 2nd round of coccidia, and I've been medicating them. I noticed Suzy seemed a bit thinner, but thought that was due to the coccidia. Sunday the 14th we were due to go to Ft. Wayne and see my niece. My daughter said she didn't feel well, she'd stay home, so let the ferrets out. So I let the 'old' group out, turned around, and Suzy was on the floor, couldn't walk. I immediately got her, ran to the kitchen, rubbed honey on her gums. Her ears and gums were pale, but within a minute she was ready to go, but limping. Sara took care of her all day for me, I fed her every three hours overnight, made sure she had fluids. Last night at 11:30pm I was holding her and found a terrible mass in her abdomen. So this morning she went to work with me, to see her vet. She didn't seem to be able to bend her head, so I fed her out of an eyedropper, and at noon shared my chicken broth. And her body weight was suddenly gone, totally. I took her over with a sense of dread, that mass wasn't right. Within an hour Dr. Thompson phoned and confirmed my fears. He felt that this was beyond surgery, and it had happened within the space of a week-no sign, no nothing. They aspirated it, and he said the cells are not lymphosarcoma, he's not sure what they are, but there's fluid in the tumor, and it's definitely cancer. He said most fuzzies he would give specific meds to, and they'd have a good life for at least three months, but he was 90% sure with Suzy that she didn't have that. It was pressing so hard that she was dragging her hind legs, try as she did to walk. I had to have a tooth pulled, and had my husband get her bonded mate Calvin, and he brought Kit, too. We went back to Purdue and they brought her to us, left her with us for a while. My poor cinnamon baby could hardly walk, her legs were dragging. The other two were with her off and on, and she went to their carrier and went in. I saw her laying on her back, rubbing her head, smiling at me. It came time, and the vet prepared her, and I held her has her little spirit left us. I felt her leave and Larry saw her as she left. We let Kit and Calvin say their good byes, and tomorrow they'll do an autopsy to discover what happened to her. I'll be able to pick her up tomorrow for cremation, then she'll be in the memory box with the others. With the others, where I didn't think she'd be so soon. She was only 4 years old, and I wasn't ready for this, not to lose my Suzy. I held her, told her of the bridge, the reflecting pool, that Socks, Bailey, Nibbles, Renny and others would be there, and then I had to let her go, let her out of pain so she could be Suzy again. And now the original Crew of Merry Mayhem has lost another of it's charter members, one of the original of the gang. Sandee, please watch for my Suzetta Ferreteta, my Suzy Belle, my Suzy Derkins. She was my little red head, so tiny, so full of fire. I hope you have something like vacuum sweepers there. She loved to fluff out at me, back up, make me chase her. Ignore her and be nipped, love her and be kissed. No more will her tiny body chase the vacuum, climb my leg, give me kisses. I know that she's well now, and no more pain, no more tumor. Sandee, would you make sure Socks, Bailey, Nibbles, and maybe Renny and her buddy are there for Suzy? Please ask her to wait for me-I told her I'd be there one day and asked her myself, but check again with her, will you? Suzy, you were so tiny, but the hole in my heart is so big right now. My heart had just begun to heal from Socks, and now it hurts so much again. Suzabelle, we love and miss you so much. Please wait till we all get there, will you? I'm sorry for rambling. Rebecca and the grieving Crew of Merry Mayhem "Do not meddle in the affairs of dragons, for thou art crunchy, and = taste good with ketchup" "Support bacteria, it's the only culture some people have" [Posted in FML issue 3572]