I have been a lurker here for a long time. So long that you would have thought I'd have got it sooner... When I first started reading the posts, because of the size of each email, I would just glance through them. When I read Sandee's posts, at first they just seemed like a cutesy rambling, and I never really paid too much attention. Lots of cute in this world... sometimes too much "cute". So, for the longest time, I would just skip over them, and read other things. I must admit, this list is hard to read, with all the pain and sorrow I see. My wife and I have 7 ferrets now, and over the years have lost 4. It's such a painful thing to experience, losing one of your guys. And for me, it's almost as hard to read about someone else losing their's... Anyways, I finally caught on to what Sandee is all about. I don't know why it took me so long. Sandee, I want you to know that what you do is invaluable. I don't know who you really are, and I'll probably never meet you, but I want to thank you from the bottom of my heart for your creativity, your humour, and most of all, your courage. You comfort those of us who have lost our guys in a way that makes us forget our pain for awhile. And in doing this for us, you bravely face those two evils - death and sorrow - all for strangers and friends alike. To repeatedly face this sorrow, and do it with your eyes wide open, is just amazing to me. Just to think of my own losses, even briefly, can be unbearable, at times, but for you to do it so often, and for nothing else than to just comfort other people, is one of the most self-less acts I can think of. I'm not sure if there's a heaven or a hell. And theologians say that animals have no soul. But I have always hoped that when I die I would get to see all my guys again, and that I would be able to play with them, and touch them, and look into their eyes and know that they were OK. This is what I would choose if I could choose it. There really aren't words to thank you, Sandee. I just hope God gives you the heaven that you want, a long, long time from now. Thank you for being there, Sandee. Thank you so much for being brave, and having your eyes wide open, while other eyes are tired and blurred from sorrow and tears. With those eyes, Sandee, I'm sure you'll be able to see into the eyes of everyone and everything that you've ever loved, one day, and know that they're OK. Thank you so much. Roary Albuquerque, New Mexico [Posted in FML issue 3503]