My dearest Harley, I'm so steamed! I HATE our new sister and don't hesitate to let her know. Mama spends lots of time housebreaking her. I don't understand why she can't just use a litterpan! Honestly, the things that dog gets away with are intolerable. I'm trying to get everybody on my side, but the most I can do is get them to hide from that silly dog. But can you imagine? That crazy Ozzie LOVES her and plays with her for hours! Right now I'm watching them run after each other and roll all over the floor and mama's trying to take pictures of it. She's failing utterly...they move too fast! I coulda told her that! We ferrets are speed demons! Personally, I think she's wasting time AND money! Mama says I have a case of sour grapes! Moi? I'm the sweetest ferret ever, and she better not ever forget it or I'll fix her wagon! (Whatever that means!) Mama said your roommate disappeared for a couple of days. Weren't you and Mommie scared and worried? Every now and then Amadeus hides for quite awhile, as do Whisper and Sadie. I'm the only one who has managed to escape...oh! That reminds me of another story! Every night Mama gets up when that DOG (voice dripping disdain here) and takes her outside. One night I decided to take matters in my own paws and slithered under the ferret room door. When the doorway into the hall was opened I charged down the stairs ahead of them! Mama put Tegan down and scooped me up. I REALLY wanted to get outside and run amock, but mama wouldn't let me get down. (See the steam curling out of my ears!?) I haven't had ANY fun since that new sister of mine showed up. Can I come to Mississauga and share your cage? I know your Mommie won't neglect me. (SULK, SULK.) Uh, oh....mama's coming. Better send this before she reads it and finds out I've been badmouthing her and that DOG! Your beloved, Shiloh [Posted in FML issue 3479]