Dear Kim, I am so sorry for your lose. I know this feeling you are having. I lost mine from a blockage also and it leaves you feeling...like everything you said. My boyfriend gave me he is happy now and blah,blah,blah. I said he would be happy if he was here with us. He was only a baby and years down the road I will think he should be here right now with us. I felt the same thing as to what I should of or could of done. The only thing that helped was time and the love of my other fuzzes. I have come to realize that it happens for a reason and I can't wait to see him again. Hugs and Kisses to you and your fuzzes. [Posted in FML issue 3490]