Hi All, I don't know if any of you remember me. My name is Geoff I joined the FML a little over a year ago when I got my first ferret. I posted a letter that first day telling how I had gone to the pet store in search for a ferret. When I got there there were allot of them in an enclosure and they all seemed to be having a great time jumping and playing. But one a little brown sable female seem to single her self out she seemed to be as interested in me as I was in her. I decided that she had chosen me and I her. When I stood up to head for the register I heard something and turned around and there was a panda female trying her damnedest to follow us. Well ferret math hit me early I picked her up too. From that moment on we have been inseparable. But tonight something horrible happened. I had let them out to play along with there new little brother Banjo. Riki the little brow sable seemed so happy to see me tonight. She is normally the quiet one but tonight she was acted different. Well Daisy my panda female was under the living room chair digging at the cushion witch she knows she should never do. I picked up the chair scruffed her and carried her back to the cage then I went back and laid on the couch to watch the others play I realized in seconds the there was no Riki just Banjo and he seemed frantic. I started calling for Riki. Nothing she was no where to be seen. Suddenly a thought of dread came over me like nothing I have ever felt in my life. I jumped off the couch and picked up that chair and there she lay the back support of the chair had come down on her chest when I put the chair down. I picked her up but she was already gone. My first little baby fuzzy was gone. Needless to say my mom sleeping down the hall her me scream not to mention probably half the neighborhood. She was still warm I tryed everthing to reavive her but she was gone. I feel terable, words can not express the way I feel right now. I keep telling myself it was just an acsodent and that I should not blame myself but I can't help feeling it was my fault. Maybe she was so full of life tonight because she new her life was at an end. I can't help but feel lost and just plain useless right now. I laid her in a small grave behind the shed in my back lawn and said the lord's prayer as I covered her up. I will never forget my little Riki she gave me so much joy. I loved her so very much. She deserved to die of old age not this way. I'm sorry this post was so long I just needed to sit down and calm down. I thought that this would help. Thanks for reading all of this if you did. Bye, Geoff Daisy & Banjo [Posted in FML issue 3411]