ATTENTION: Not a FLAME or ANYTHING but read at your own discression... THIS is PERSONAL and PAINFUL but something some of you might like to hear! well, I have posted many times on this list to tell you about the antics of my ferts, the stuff I have learned from wonderful, caring and informed fert-owned hoomins in my area, and to put my two cents (sense) in occasionally... this time its to share a VERY personal story about myself and something that alot of us have come in contact with when it comes to ferrets... I am going to tell you this story because so many people feel guilty at the end when their babies need help crossing the bridge and I want to help you feel better about making such a HARD decision. Several years ago I was diagnosed with CANCER... THE BIG "C"... I dont smoke, I am vegetarian and I dont put chemicals in my body unless I absolutely have to... we believe my cancer was caused by the 100's of x-rays I had done between the ages of 9 and 15 (serious chronic bronchial Pneumonia)... anyway, that's my guess and any answer is better than NO answer. So here's the thing... as a humyn with a potentially FATAL ailment I had choices, Chemo/no chemo, radiation/no radiation, and even NO treatment - in which case I would have had to go to court and PROVE I understood the ramifications of my choice. The unfortunate thing (as I saw it) was that DEATH was NOT an option, infact, it was illegal... Cancer AND most of its treatments can be EXTREMELY painful... Chemo is dibilitation, Radiation is Dibilitation, all cause horrible things for instance:Stomach pains, headaches, loss of appetite, chills... there is quite a few more things but I guess you get the point... I met Sooooo many people who were going through similar things while I was battling this cancer... Some did Choose to refuse treatment and slip into a "forever sleep", The truth is... I DID say NO MORE! NO more Chemo, NO more Radiation, NO more tests, No more doctors... IM DONE! For an animal... imagine all of this ... with NO choices... NO voice to say STOP and no way to communicate how or where it hurts. I WISH euthanization was an option for humans as well... its MORE humane, its more loving than what people put humans through because they can... I cant even imagine how aweful that scenario would have been in my life if I couldnt understand the doctors, If I couldnt participate in my own treatment... dont get me wrong I am NOT saying to treat the ailments... I am just saying I think its OKAY to STOP! I KNOW ferrets and ALL pets for that matter deal with many other illnesses that are fatal but for all of them I say that NO MATTER WHAT odds the doctors would have given me when they said "just one more round of Chemo"... I would have said NO MORE! I dont want this anymore! I am a strong, independent, loving, caring, being with lots of friends and family that love me I wasnt commiting suicide, I just wanted to stop it all... I dint want to leave my life, but like everything that has a life-force, when its fading we know... I think our pets KNOW and I think that they hold on until we are ready to say good-bye... they dont want to leave us anymore than we want to let them go but trust me when I say its the RIGHT decision and though they cant say THANK YOU... from my experiences and the many people I have met on this crazy ride called life... I KNOW that "It's Okay for you to leave me now!" are some of the kindest, most loving and even the hardest words we can learn to speak. I have been Cancer-Free for 15 months now... I am back on my feet, living everyday like its my last now that I know what its like to live my last day! I cherish every wonderful thing that happens in my world and I have learned how to let my loved ones leave, it still hurts and I still cry but I know that their closure in life sometimes depends on my willingness to let them leave. Its a kind and generous thing to surrender your love to end their pain. I am not a martyr, and I dont mean to make myself sound like one... I just feel so strongly about this that I couldnt help but make the story personal... the issue of medical assisted death has been one that has touched my life in MANY ways over the last couple of years and it certainly applies to euthanizing pets what a hard decision to make for an being that cant speak its wishes, I've made the decision to help a pet die...I regretted that decision (out of guilt) until I went through my first painful bought with the big "C". Now I dont regret a thing... I miss my puppy and I think of her often but I KNOW I did the right thing. One last thing, in the hopes that my post wont get turned into a "would you euthanize your child if he/she broke their leg?" barage of flames... the answer is NO... nor would I advocate euthanizing a pet with any of these injuries... infact, the puppy I speak of was a rotty with hip dysplasia... I paid for a VERY pricey surgery that was NOT effective she was in horrible pain whimpering all the time, we did the surgery 2x and the doc said he did not think a THIRD would result in a different outcome... I chose to end that suffering and KNOWING what I know today I would make that SAME decision. I am one of those cancer patients spoke of in a post and I have to say I do NOT agree with the picture painted of me... and I have met many other that feel the same way I do... there really does come a time when most of us hope that our friends and families will give us permission to die. well I guess that's enough sharing for one day! Cheers Carpe Diem! -Betty Rebel... "Great Guardian of the Treats!".... [Posted in FML issue 3395]