Remember my in mid-February about our need for hammocks, offering a barter of treats in exchange ? We've got some oldsters here, and we really needed some big, deep, soft hammies for these fragile golden years folks. I was completely unprepared for the outpouring of support and kindness you guys sent our way. So very many of you emailed , called, wrote, sewed, and just plain CARED . The address labels on all the packages are smudged because I cried each time I opened one. What an unbelievable kindness! The kids we have now, and those we'll see in the future - there are always going to be those who bear the brunt of Bad Human Disease- really appreciate having a warm, clean cozy nest. For many this may be the first time they've seen a hammock, or been given a place to sleep other than a wire floor or fetid cedar shavings. What a gift you guys have given - a safe, soft, and comforting place to relax . An actual restful sleep. Finally, some peace. That really changes the world for a mistreated ferret. It's both a solace from neglect, and a promise of things to come in a real, forever home. Reading tonight's FML, I saw Kerry and Ada's posting about me. I'm very , very glad they wrote . I needed a good swift kick in the posterior , knee or not (explanation follows) , to get on track with PAYING YOU FOLKS BACK !!!!! I proposed a deal, and you guys sent hammocks, emails, love and support, and I'm damn sure keeping my end of the bargain. Please, please accept my apologies for my tardiness. Here's the email I sent Kerry and Ada - applies to everyone who so graciously helped us . This is not meant as a form-letter style thank you . Each of you are incredible, and cherished in different ways. I'm sending thank you's , apologies, and good will to each of you with your treats. ( Okay, and lots of free-form groveling and virtual sackcloth and ashes.) Dear Kerry and Ada, First off, I'd like to thank you both so very much for being so generous in offering your help to a complete stranger, whom, I'm sure, you've decided is a complete schmuck . Make that a belly-crawling-slime-sucking-schumck. Maybe a belly-crawling-slime-sucking-schumck with excrecably horrible manners that would make my very Southern mother disown me. Rightly so . I wouldn't blame y'all a bit . : ) The wee kids adore their hammocks , and send loads of weasel kisses ! The hammocks are being put to great use and will comfort loads of shelter ferrets over time. Your kindness translates into a warm, safe spot for ferrets waiting for a Real Forever Home. Snuggly , cozy hammocks make the stay here less stressful for the fuzzies. THANK YOU !!!!!!!!! Here's the idiotic and rather embarrassing explanation as to why you are currently treat-less while I am hammock-ed. I make desserts for a local bar and grill. The other day, I stopped by to see the owner , confirm orders, etc. It was lightly drizzling, my hands were full of invoices, books, cell phone, three socks, a jar of Asian cabbage pickle, a slightly damp marmoset, a bumper from a '63 Pinto, (okay - exaggerating), and other sundry bits of weighty, unwieldy stuff . Staggering under this slippery and heavy load, I went charging up the very steep and VERY slick stairs , trying to avoid getting thoroughly soaked. Whoa. Big bad burly decision on my part, par excellence. Remember the old Batman TV show where Batman would sock some bad guy and THWACK ! THUD ! CRACK ! and -my fave- KAPOW ! would appear on the screen ? I hit a step, feet went right out from under me, hit the edge of the stair with my full weight on my left knee.( ... The crowd goes wild ...... a ten from the Russian judge ! Kym wins the gold in Idiotic Freak Accidents, floor exercise portion only.) I experienced the full range of Batman-esque feelings while marveling at the new and hideously elastic shape of The Object Formerly Know As My Knee. In complete, cool control of the situation, I dispassionately attempted to: a) find my kneecap, b) take on blind faith that it is still somehow connected to a joint, ANY joint, and c) hoist the little bone hockey puck back up to its normal position. Seemed like the thing to do - hell, I've watched Trauma: Life in the E.R. on TLC plenty. Damn the torpedoes - ramming speed ! Assemble origami-like shards of important crunchy knee stuff ! Piece o' cake ! Wrong. Wrongwrongwrong. Don't try this at home. In fact don't try this anywhere. Suffice it to say my attempt was followed by much swearing, screaming, and ultimately, puking. In public. In the rain. I proceeded to shred the remaining tatters of my dignity by bawling like a disgruntled Survivor reject . Drip, drip, drip, bawl, drip, bawl, snuffle. Made it to the E.R. and found out I blew out a few ligaments and managed to fracture the actual patella. Leave it to me to break what may be considered the hardest bone in the body. So, crutches for five weeks- the Darwinian marker of the terminally clumsy. However, didn't hurt my hands in the fall , so I have absolutely NO excuse for being such a slacker. We have a deal, and I'm going to make good on it. Thank you very much for giving me a kind kick in the butt ! (Just not the knee, please.) Feel free to call me at (502) 459-9950 if you'd like to talk, kill me, etc. On a positive and serious note, I do apologize for the rudeness of my actions. I can imagine that you felt angry, and probably betrayed. Please accept my deepest apologies . It was never my intention to go this long without fulfilling my part of the bargain. Treats coming up, pronto ! All the best, Kym Zorn Long Wayward Weasel 1800 Shady Lane Louisville, KY 40205 (502) 459-9950 [Moderator's note: Kym has been trying to post this for a couple of days. She finally telephoned me about it and I asked her to forward it to an alternate address. Turns out her ISP (soon to be ex-ISP, I believe) was blocking e-mail to here since they thought we were spammers (yes, I know, that sounds backwards to me too). I tried to e-mail them about it, but they blocked that too and it was returned to me. Luckily she is the only bluegrass.net subscriber. And she got spam from everyplace BUT cunyvm.cuny.edu. Grrrrrr.... BIG] [Posted in FML issue 3348]