[Posted in three parts -- combined. BIG] Dear FML, No more anonymity. What do you think of this? Let me try to explain as briefly as possible, although I will probably have to post this in multiple parts. I recently sent a $500 donation to the shelter here in MN. It was returned with the following message: "Dawn, Thank you for your generous donation. However, due to our philosophical differences, we are unable to accept. Debbie F. Assistant to the Director, In the Company of Ferrets." I want you, as an FML member to think about and to talk about the issues I am about to raise. Feel free to write to me if you wish. My story begins in March of 1997 when my brother brought a baby ferret (Laweasel) to me as a gift. I purchased Thelma a month or two later, and subscribed to the FML to learn more about my wonderful ferrets. I got divorced during the summer of 1997. During that summer I kept a special ferret I rescued, named Beetle. I reconciled with my ex husband, and purchased another ferret named Attica from a breeder that fall. Now I had four ferrets. Sometime in there I got involved with the local ferret shelter; In the Company of Ferrets, run by Laura Palmer of Stillwater, MN. The shelter is in Laura's home. We started a ferret club named F.R.O.L.I.C. that summer. Laura asked me to foster a sweet boy named Sammy, because the shelter was crowded, and he wouldn't play nice with other ferrets, he needed a separate run time. Sammy was the best ferret, I loved him so much. When Laura took him back to the shelter because she had a prospective home for him I cried as I said goodbye to him. The prospect chose another ferret, and I adopted Sammy. I was busy; as a parent, as an employee, as a student, and I stayed busy caring for my ferrets. I still checked on the babies for sale at the pet shops whenever I was there, I did my best to educate pet store staff, distributed shelter, club and ferret literature, and I helped the club and shelter out in any way I could. I often picked up rescues, and rescued ferrets from pet stores when necessary. I made two road trips to Arkansas during the winter to move ferrets from the MN shelter to a shelter in Arkansas to relieve over-crowding. Laura asked me to take in two more ferrets who were long-term foster ferrets. Ziggy was about seven years old, and Totiana was just three years old. Now I was caring for 7 ferrets total. January 98 my husband and I split for good. I had a terrible car accident. I was in bed for weeks, and because of a head injury I was off work for two months. During this time I took care of all the ferrets, even when I could barely care for myself. Ziggy the seven-year-old ferret developed adrenal disease and was taking Lysodren for it. I paid for his meds out of my own pocket most of the time. Sammy developed insulinoma, and I couldn't afford surgery, but I gave him his pred, and loved him a lot. Attica, the one I got from the breeder developed chronic diarreah. I tried to care for him as well as I could. He was on carafate, and then pepto bismal. I was a single parent with two children, seven ferrets, a full-time job (managing apartments, making less than $10,000/year) and a full-time student. I could not afford the vet visits, and could barely afford the meds. Laura knew all this. During the summer of 1999 I wrote to the FML and explained that I was looking for homes for all the ferrets. I couldn't afford the vet costs for the sick ones, and was planning to move in with my then boyfriend. The townhouse association where he lived did not allow ferrets, and on top of everything else I was planning a career change that would drastically change my life. I was not sure what to do, and I openly considered having my sick ferrets euthanized. I brought Attica, to the shelter after talking to Laura. Poor Attica, he was skinny for a ferret once known as "fat boy." I told Laura that some day when I had money I would send a donation. She said she knew a vet who would try to figure out what was wrong with him. He had lost a lot of weight and I was worried about him. While I was there Laura and I talked. She chewed me out for not getting help for Attica sooner. I had talked to her frequently, and always told her that he was doing poorly. She had suggested the pepto. I told her that I did not think that expensive surgeries were a good idea if the ferret was so old, or sick that it would probably die anyway. It broke my heart to see the shelter ferrets; skin and bones, being force fed, and given sub q fluids until they just couldn't hold on any longer. I wondered why she spent so much money on surgeries for ferrets who often died within a year. They endured so much misery to live just a little longer, with no hope of adoption. It seemed to me that it would be better to have them euthanized, and try to concentrate on finding homes for ferrets, instead of running the shelter into the ground. The shelter was so dirty that day. I was hopeful for Attica, and sad for the others as I left. Laura was always trying to get help with fundraising for the shelter vet bills, complaining about how tired she was from her round-the-clock nursing of sick ferrets. I continued to wonder why she didn't focus more on caring for the healthy ferrets. The day I brought Attica to the shelter and expressed my belief on euthanasia as a humane option, she got very upset with me. We did not see eye to eye on the issues. She explained her position by telling me that she had lost a human child to cancer, and she seemed to feel very strongly that no ferret be euthanized. I was not upset by our differing philosophies. These are issues that people have struggled with forever, and I believe that we are all entitled to our opinions. I never presume to tell anyone how to make their decisions, but I reserve the right to make my decisions according to my beliefs. I was upset that she lashed out at me personally for having a different opinion. Shortly afterward some people I knew from the ferret club called me on a Saturday and said they'd take all my ferrets. They were at my house within an hour, and they left with all my ferrets, and everything I had that I associated with them. I went through a lot of grieving and pain over this, but at the time I knew it was best. I wondered if Laura sent them, but I knew that my ferrets would be loved and cared for in their home. Some time later I tried to contact Laura, and the people who adopted my ferrets, and nobody replied to my e-mails. I later found out that the people who adopted my babies had experienced a personal tragedy, and were very busy. By this time I was writing very angry, inflammatory, and rude e-mails. I couldn't believe that nobody cared enough to just let me know how the ferrets were doing. Unfortunately I managed to make everyone mad at me, and subsequently, I was mad at them. Things had changed, and it looked as if I would be able to take my ferrets back if they would allow it. They would not. I think of those ferrets often. I have three other ferrets now. I have no support network here, as you can tell by the response I received to the donation I sent. I am not angry, I am not judging, I just want the FML to know about me, about Laura, her shelter In the Company of Ferrets and the club known as FROLIC, if they club still exists. I am wondering if anyone in Minnesota knows what became of Thelma, Laweasel, Beetle, Attica, Sammy, Ziggy and Totiana. I am wondering if anyone will tell them they are always in my heart. I am wondering if anyone in their right mind would turn down a donation that was intended to help with the expenses that they must have accrued. I am wondering if anyone will send me news of them. [Posted in FML issue 3249]