Here are some of my will not's and some will do's. I will not use the turntable as an amusement park ride. I will not steal every stuffed toy I see,as they are not all mine,and it upsets the small human. I will not try to beat my human out the door,because I don't need to go to the store. I will not dig all the cat litter out of the cat box,as it is much more useful in the cat box.They don't dig in my box. I will not try to dig to China under the door,since it is not on the other side. I will not lick Mom's toes as she steps out of the shower,as it tickles, and may get me squashed,even if I do like her dancing. I will not try to straighten out the cats ears.Mom says she's a Scottish Fold and they're supposed to be that way. I will not climb up on the counter and knock everything off.My human says decorating is not my thing. I will not poop in front of the door.My human says the smear does not add to the ambiance. I will not poop where my human steps to go to the bathroom.She doesn't like things that go squish in the night. I will not drag my water dish across the floor,since Mom assures me it tastes exactly the same in the bowl as it does on the floor. I will not kill the evil sock monster while it is on my human's foot. Now on to the I will's I will hold still for the camera,so my human has more to show than a blur. I will go in the potty,not over the side,to see that funny face my human makes. I will leave the bananas alone,because contrary to popular belief,I'm not a monkey. I will behave when my human has company and leave their ears alone,they're clean enough. I will have a raisin for a snack,not toes.My human doesn't care if I am an obligate carnivore. I will stay on my human's shoulder,and not try to prove I can fly.The vet bill is already too high. I will stay inside,unless I have my leash on, and my human with me.My human says she doesn't have nine lives and neither do I. That's all folks. Sandy and the Fuzzy Gang [Posted in FML issue 3170]