I'm not sure where to start. It was a wonderfully informational experience. I enjoyed meeting the speakers and the attendees though there were several people I was looking for that I didn't meet. Not a wonder with so much going on. It was a whirlwind of activity. I didn't join the party in the pub, and I hope that no one thought I was being anti-social as that truly wasn't my intent. I was so happy to feel the warmth and love in the atmosphere. It certainly put me a bit more at ease and all of the presenters were fantastic. Special thanks to all the presenters for the continuing efforts to help ferrets and their people. You are all wonderful. Special thanks Randy and her volunteers and to the attendees for making ferrets 2000 a success. As for the walk-outs during my presentation - geez you know how to get your point across don't you. ;-) (Just kidding, I know Bob, Bobbi, and Julie had to leave for an early morning flight, but I was disappointed to see them go before I could get a last hug.) Oh yeah, lots of hugging going on during the Symposium. Did I mention the warm and loving environment. :-) Touch is such an important factor in our lives. And hugs mean so very much. Thank you. I'd like to thank my saviors for getting me to the hotel after the shuttle quit running and for taking me through customs on the way back. I'd have been lost without both of you. Randy mentioned that at one point I broke down. Saturday evening, about 7 Canadian time, it was 6 in Kansas. At that time I felt overwhelming painful sadness..... as Jackie left us. I didn't know until I got back home as the caretakers chose not to tell me on the phone when they called with their updates, because there wasn't anything I could do about it and they didn't want me to be sad. This was unexpected. Jackie had lymphosarcoma, adrenal, and insulinoma. He was this huge naked boy, that had come to me 2 years earlier. He had difficulty getting around because of the pred swelling but he always managed to make it. He'd swim over to the bed and look up at me to pick him up so he could lay beside me. He always tried to make it to the potty places. Jackie died in his sleep. He no longer is handicapped by a body filled with fluid. He can run with the best of them now. When I got back to Kansas, Swiffer wasn't doing well, nor was Tigger or Rascal. I schedule Swiffer for surgery along with Tweezle. Tweezle had the brown spider bite area removed. Swiffer..... his entire length of intestines were covered with tumors and Larry said it was very possible that they had invaded the intestines in some places. There just wasn't anything Larry could do to remove the masses. He closed Swiffer up and called to ask what I wanted to do. A brief section of my talk was on letting go. When a ferret is terminal and there is pain that cannot be relieved and when this is as good as it gets isn't good, it is time to let them go. Swiffer wanted to live, I know that, but it wasn't fair to have him recover from surgery only to die shortly after. It was a difficult decision. I know Swiffer was exhibiting pain as he would chew and some days he ate very well and others he didn't want to eat at all. That morning at 2 he'd eaten very well for me and he was alert and looking around on the trip to the vet. But he had swelling in the back legs from one of the larger masses that had broken open. This was as good as it would get and it wasn't good. I didn't want to let him go, I wanted him back, but it wasn't fair to him. Again I lost another bed partner. Swiffer slept beside me and would scoot over to lay against me. As much as it hurts me, Swiffer is no longer in pain. He is no longer handicapped with a broken crushed pelvis that took away the use of his back legs. He longer has to suffer through the expressing of his bladder which had to be painful with all those masses along his intestines. Rascal is in the nursing cage till I can get her back up and going. She is quite thin and showing signs of stress. She was more attached to me than we knew. Tigger is doing a bit better but because of his bloodwork we sent off a sample to United to test for Aleutians. Can't imagine it could be, but better to know than not to. Several others were very happy to see me and made themselves scarce during the time I was gone. Silver and Meethos are not leaving my side and constantly invite me to play. A time of mixed emotions.... The caretakers did a good job considering their enormous task. I'm sure it isn't an experience they want to do again real soon. I can't thank them enough for helping. My sincere condolences to all that have lost little ones. Warm hugs to all. tle Troy Lynn Eckart Ferret Family Services http://www-personal.ksu.edu/~sprite/ffs.html http://www.geocities.com/Petsburgh/Haven/5481/ Please sign up to support our charity http://www.iGive.com/html/ssi.cfm?cid=46&mid=58395 [Posted in FML issue 3181]