Hello everyone! I'm Mikette, I'm my Mommy's first ferret. The other day I heard her laughing so hard while reading FML that I had to come investigate. She was hysterical over a note by a ferret from the Gang of Five (I can't remember the name exactly). I don't see what was so funny - that was a very troublesome ferret! I on the other hand am a very good ferret, very helpful to my Mommy. I thought I should write as an example of proper ferret behavior. Unlike some other ferrets (I won't name any names, partly because I can't remember them) I am constantly helping Mommy. When she reads I make sure to get in the pages and help turn them, I try to do this quickly to keep her reading speed up. If she's brushing her teeth I scratch at her leg until she puts me in the sink to supervise, after all proper hygiene is important. When she works on the computer I work hard pulling myself up the chair so that I can go over the keyboard to spell check before she is done. When she eats I make sure to insist on the first bite to check the quality. Often this involves leaping from the couch to the coffee table if she's not sharing . I also have a lot of cleaning responsibilites. I'm the official duster of all bottom shelves. Occasionally I have to stretch, climb, and jump to check on the higher shelves. Mommy mops the floor herself, but when I see she hasn't done it lately I put a little something in the corner to remind her. On trash day as she opens the cabinet to get the barrel I quickly scoot in to make sure she hasn't forgotten anything. She loves that, but she really rushes me and pulls me out too quickly. When she washes dishes (such a boring job) I lay my head on her feet and beg to be put on the counter. Not that I want to be up there really, I just feel it's my job to entertain her while she does this dull chore. Sometimes to really liven things up I try lean all the way forward to see the drawers, it's fun watching her run to me with her hands all sudsy! Mommy does the laundry (I'm not allowed near the machines) but I do my part by checking all the washed clothes to be sure they're clean enough. O ne of my hardest tasks is keeping her organized. I make sure to keep all important items (such as oven mitts, keys, pens, etc) in a safe place under the bed. This way I can keep an eye on them while I nap. I've caught her more than once trying to sneak them out when she thought I was sleeping. As you can see my Mommy needs lots of help, but I don't stop there! When we go to Grandma's I'm very helpful in the garden. Grandpal feeds his dog a lot so I keep him exercised with well-timed nips to the paws. The dog catches on quicker than humans, he now starts running as soon as he sees me coming. Of course my greatest efforts are for the humans. Whenever I meet a new one I make sure to give them a warm, fuzzy 'up the pant leg' greeting. I feel this is an important act for human-ferret relations! I also help entertain Mommy's friends; if a guest seems bored I make sure to attack their ankles until things liven up. I don't get much thanks for this, but hey - I do what I can anyways. Sorry this got so long but as you can see I'm a very busy ferret. I have a little sister, but she's really not much help at all. I have to do most everything myself! Well, I just wanted to let you know that not all ferrets are such trouble. I use my fuzzie energy for good not evil! Oh no, Mommy is trying to change the bed sheets without me! Sorry to hurry off but she needs my help...really she does! [Mikette] [Posted in FML issue 3136]