Last week I posted about my ferret, Buster who had been vomiting off and on for the last six months. He had been to the vet over 12 times. On Monday we got a diagnosis, Megaesophagus, prognosis poor, nothing can be done. Metaesophagus is a condition where the esophagus does not propel the food down into the stomach, as a result the food stays in the esophagus until it is regurgitated. So the ferret basically starves. I hoped that I would never have to post something like this...We had to help Buster cross the bridge on Wednesday. This was the most agonizing thing I've ever gone through. The two days after the diagnosis I tried to help him eat and drink, but it just caused him too much pain. He would struggle to swallow, squeeze his eyes shut and try to force the food down. Sometimes he would be so uncomfortable that he would throw himself onto his side and squirm, scratch frantically at the towel he was on, it was so horrible to see. To look at his squinted, watery eyes would break my heart, he tried so hard. I spoke to as many people and vets that I could, researched the disease on the web, but the stories always ended the same. I read a very positive article, that gave me some hope. However when I would try to feed my poor, darling Buster I could see I was only causing him more distress. So I had to do the only thing possible to help him, let him go in peace, before more pain set in. My darling Buster Brown. I did everything I could to help him. Tried everything I could find, but only saw his pain and confusion. I sometimes think that I could have done more, but then remember his suffering. Anything I did would have only prolonged his suffering, he would never get better, only worse. I couldn't have him suffer through the possible complications. He was basically starving to death. I could get some food down, but not enough would stay down for him to survive. I broke my heart to see him gobble down the duck soup like he was starving, only to see it come back up. He was so depressed (so was I). This was the most painful thing I have ever experienced. My beloved, darling Buster Brown. He was my buddy. Everywhere I went he was underfoot, followed us like a dog. I will miss his 2 am ear kisses and eyebrow grooming. I will miss his wonderful round face, how his face would appear around the shower curtain, and scratch at the curtain demanding that I spray the water on the curtain for him to lick. I will miss how he played, I'd tickle his belly, and instead of biting my hand he would grab it with his paws and kiss it. I have never known another animal like this. He must have loved us, he used to bite your hand when you tickled him, then he started kissing instead. I will miss how he would get up on his hind legs and beg everytime you were anywhere near food, how if you ate at the table he would climb your legs. I will miss how he used to steal the syringes and hiss at you when you tried to take them away. He was so special. I still find myself checking is favorite hiding places, hoping to see him, but knowing I will not. I look down at my arm and can still see him their, as he was during his final journey. I wake up each morning with this sad sinking feeling, realizing that it wasn't just a bad dream. I just can't understand how organ transplants can be done, animal cloning, but nothing can be done about this disease. I'm so glad we found out before causing him any more pain. My darling Buster Brown I miss you so, you will be forever in my heart. You are now strong and healthy again, no longer hungry I love you dearly. Buster is now immortalized on the Rainbow Bridge website along with some beautiful pictures from our last two days together. Amy Robbin Critter, Rascal, SusieQ, Moose Rest in peace my wonderful, beautiful Buster Brown [Posted in FML issue 3099]