Who is Bob C? (Check all those that apply) ___a) Like the jackalope, a figment of the imagination. He doesn't really exist, but is manufactured from leftover parts found in abandoned taxidermy shops combined with corner scrapings chiseled off tile floors from well-populated ferret shelters. ___b) Not anyone you would want to moon you; at least not without proper safety precautions and OHSA approved eye wear. ___c) A ruggedly handsome irresistible wise-cracking small-red-car-driving tuxedoed loner who, in the service of his country, uses advanced technology and impressive physical prowess to defeat the ferreted-out forces of evil. That's Bob. Bob C. ___d) The result of Dr. Demento's 30-year evil experiment gone awry. ___e) Doesn't "C" stand for the 3rd clone in the series? ___f) After switching from Freudian to Jungian therapy, even HE doesn't know. ___g) A cynical old, worn out intellectual prostitute, but with a huge soft heart of gold. ___h) Zardoz's evil and cranky twin. ___i) Proof you should wear a helmet when told to go climb a rock in Yosemite. ___j) The inventor of Soylent Green (green referring to the uniform of the CaCaLand Fishing Gestapo and Evil Henchmen Society). ___k) Not at all the person seen in recent Post Office wanted posters, even though there is a strong slight resemblance and the same alias. ___l) !trams si eh skniht ohw toidi cixelsyd rehtona tsuJ ___m) The inventor of the 2 minute Chicken Gravy burp. ___n) Evidence you can survive three accidental lobotomies. ___o) The same guy who has worn out the phrase, "I fert in your general direction!" ___p) If you are a beautiful bimbo with few moral standards, I am a Hollywood producer. ___q) The guy who, back in the sixties, started the rumor that Paul died. ___r) The type of guy that saves green M&Ms "for later." ___s) A guy so exciting he had to take up collecting postcards just to remain legal. ___t) The C stands for "Crazy." ___u) By day, just an ordinary new-age sensitive guy; but by night, the irresistible Bob C, Science Gigolo. ___v) The only person left in America who doesn't watch Wrestlin', Jerry Springer, or golf and fishing shows. ___w) Still thinks "Private Ryan" was better than that fruity Shakespeare thing. ___x) Wore Hawaiian shirts before, during, after, and before they were popular. ___y) Is actually proud of being a "crowd extra" in "The Attack of the Killer Tomatoes." ___z) In truth, I'm "Bob the C," but if the mob ever found me, I'd be history. Mail in your answers with $50 to "Who is Bob C?" PO Box 2000, New Age Science, Misery USA. Void were prohibited by sanity. Bob C and 16 Mo' Genetic Accidents [Posted in FML issue 2974]