It's been a long time since I've written and I thought it would probably be a long while before I had the emotional stamina to write. My heart is so heavy right now. I have been through 'the ringer' physically and emotionally. I can't begin to get into details right now but suffice-to-say, I had to euthanize my baby girl, Whitey, under circumstances that hurt too much to even think about right now, and two days later I almost lost her sister. Her sister seems to be healing well from a surgery where part of her liver and her left kidney had to be removed. There were was a period of weeks where for days at a time, I did not sleep, I was constantly in and out of emergency with three of them, up all night in ICU, being told 'it was hopeless' and I should euthanize and I have to tell everyone that if it weren't for two people, Dr. Karen Purcell and a surgeon at OSU, Dr. Smeak, Mighty Mouse would not be alive. Karen is one of the most amazing people. I just really want to share that with everyone. And, I am not speaking strictly as as vet. She *is* an amazing vet but she is also an amazing (and really neat) person and someone I am so happy to be able to call friend. Unfortunately, all these problems happened in the last few weeks, not long after losing Spikey, Bugsy being diagnosed with Cardio problems, various stresses regarding delays in adrenal surgeries, dealing with ECE, etc. etc. etc.. I have come down with some bug myself and midterms are around the corner so this latest news ...well....it's just too much. Now, to top everything off, Walter, who is 5.5 years old, and who has never had any problems and acted like a textbook ferret (acted like he was 1 year old too), happy happy happy...was diagnosed today with lymphoma. I'm exhausted, emotionally, physically and OH gawd Financially - being a vet student doesn't do that much unfortunately..my emergency credit card is racked to the limit). I'm writing to all of you because I really need your help. I know next to nothing about lymphoma. Yes, I have all the books but they really don't communicate half as well as all your combined experiences. I used to joke that I did not want to learn about all the ferret diseases via personal experience and that there was only one I had not yet learned about - I wouldn't even say it out loud, dare I jinx myself. I never even read those chapters of the books I have. I didn't even want my brain to float that way. My brain really isn't working very well right now and the vets at school told me they have only had a few ferrets with lymphoma come through the school and all were basically 'on death's door'. I've supposedly brought in Walter very early on so they think that's good if I decide for chemo. But, they have no clue as to whether the 'fancy' chemotherapeutic drugs will really do much in a ferret. They called the AMC and ?some other institution and both said that since so few people choose that route, they have mixed opinions as to whether any of the chemo drugs do much. I don't think I can afford that at this point (I've spent 10x what I can afford already) but I can't completely rule it out till I know enough about it. I have read so many different things about lymphoma in older ferrets. All I can tell you is Walter has been acting profoundly depressed (suddenly - last three weeks) since being separated from his 'girlfriends' and I thought it was boredom or depression - he was trying to sleep with Bugsy (who barely tolerates him) and even with me. He has been laying around, ..just flopping, as if 'uncomfortable' though not particularly lethargic, per say. He had a mild GI upset - so mild, I wasn't sure if it was really there. I thought maybe a cutaneous lesion I found was a mast cell tumor, the histamine was going systemic and he was feeling ill, or perhaps the stress had precipitated ulcers. I did a one-dose trial (after talking to a vet) of benedryl and pepcid for each (separately) but neither seemed to help. Something was wrong, I knew it, but I was not expecting this. He supposedly has some blood in his stool (not visible - tested). On radiographs and ultrasound, enlarged abdominal and mediastinal lymph nodes and multiple nodules in his spleen were noted, and the cytology aspirates confirmed the diagnosis. So far, I was told to give him pepcid, start him on pred (he had an IM shot of dex) and if I want to start chemo, I have to do it next week. I read about Vit C and pau d'arc In Hillyer and Quess. and already went and bought some. I couldn't find buffered/ester capsules so I bought a liquid form. I'm not sure if it's okay though as it has calcium (not sure if one can OD a ferret on calcium) and it has a lot of juices. He does NOT like the pau d'arc... I asked about essiac though I don't know about doses for that. I was told the US is trying to stop the import of the stuff and it's hard to find the liquid form. PLEASE, if you have any experience, any thoughts, knowledge, ideas to share, please email me. Anything, personal anecdotes, warnings, thoughts. Whatever you might be able to share would be so very welcome. Thanks for listening to me ramble. I am sorry if it's a little disorganized. This quarter I'm in school from dawn to dusk - it's the worst quarter of all four years...with everything going on, it's amazing I can even write. Hugs to all of you whom I have neglected in recent months and special hugs to those who have lost loved ones. I know from personal experience how difficult and even traumatic losing these guys can be, Hugs to everyone, Michaela Maurice , Bugsy, Walter and Mighty Mouse - missing Whitey and Spikey so very much. We love and miss you both. College of Veterinary Medicine Ohio State University Class of 2002 [Posted in FML issue 2943]