Just had my buttocks chewed by a good friend in CaCa land for not posting
anything.  Ooops.  Sorry.  Actually, I am near the end of a poisoning
session with the good doctors, and a nasty little side effect is baddly
blurred vision.  Can't drive, read or even watch TV.  Elizabeth has been
reading stuff to me, but has been gone to Chicago for the last week on
school-related activities, so I have just been a bad boy and have been
skipping the mail.  Heck, I haven't even been to school for several weeks;
just lounging near the bathroom and playing with the ferrets.  But she just
got back, so in the next few days she has promised to help me out with the
mail and I'll try to do some answering.  And she should help because she is
driving my bright red car.
 
Hey Oregon people.  Sandy is doing so good on the steroids that we have cut
them back by a third.  She is covered with thick white hair, except for her
tail, and the latest radar images show the cancer storm to be heading south.
I was originally told she wouldn't make it 'til Christmas.  ha!  Trillian
weighed in at 3.5 lbs!!!  She is like a hand muff with black eyes.  What a
porker!  Sam, Crystal and Fraggle are sound, healthy and happy.
 
Hey Kansas People.  Apollo will be going under the knife in December for
adrenal surgery.  He just started losing butt and tail hair recently, and
the blood tests say uh-oh, so I am not wasting any time.  We are just
waiting for him to put on a little winter weight before the deed.
Ballistic, Simon, and Nosette are doing just fine.  Foster is a new man,
running around looking for pieces of chicken.  Being half blind I can't
cook, right?  So I've been eating lots of Chinese takeout and KFC.  Foster
stole a drumstick and ate the entire thing; all I found was a few splinters
of diaphyseal bone left in his "nest." When I collected them for further
analysis, he just burped rudely.
 
Hey Washington People.  Carbone is *NOT* a ferret.  He's a stunted Great
Dane.  He just weighed in at 4.5 lbs, maybe 5% body fat.  White nose and
eyebrows, black as burned toast (which I've been eating alot lately) and
born to be wild.  Dumb as a post, but that's probably because he is, well,
uh, starting to grow stuff "down there" and testosterone poisoning is known
to make one stupid.  Jezabell and Amber are best buds and chase each other
and me all over the house.  Jet is the best.  She prefers "Bobio" to Bob,
and constantly burrows into my long, flowing hair.  If in a tail, she does
her best to remove the stretchy thingie.  And Jump?  Not her.  She
levitates.  Truth.  She jumped from the arm of the futon to a hanging
minature tree (about 2 feet) and caught the tassle things hanging down.  She
climbed the tassles, dug into the plant until it dove over the side (did I
hear a, uh, "bonsai" as it fell?), then leaped another two feet to the top
of a cabinet to go sailing with my prized model of the HMS Beagle.  I'm sure
Darwin would have said something about Jet's natural selection if he knew
how much time I spent building that boat and how much time I would have to
spend fixing it.  I briefly considered playing "Rocky and Bullwinkle" and
seeing how far Jet could fly, but she looked so cute tangled up in the
rigging I just forgave her.  Now I'll have to put off building my
prehistoric boat series to fix the Beagle.  Once I can see, that is.  I
should have known she could do it.  She is, after all, Jet propelled.
 
Tori, Bear, Chrys, Moose, Stella and Daye are all healthly fat and sassy.
Stella is quite jealous of the kits, but they all get along just fine.
Moose and Carbone are wrestlin' buds, and can play for hours.
 
Thanks for all the email I haven't read, the get-well cards I have, and the
occasional phone call.  Don't worry; like a cockroach, I'll be back, running
underfoot and making everyone queasy.
 
Bob and 19 MO Carpet Monkeys and 1 MO Flying Fert (attempting to prove
Darwin was right)
[Posted in FML issue 2123]