About a month ago, our beloved Amber crossed the Rainbow Bridge.  I've been
waiting for my partner to post the details of her autopsy, but it looks like
I'm waiting in vain.  Since medical issues are not my area of expertise, I'm
posting only the bottom line--Amber had a brain tumor.
 
It was a relief to know there was nothing else we could have done for her.
Until the results came, I'd been blaming myself for her death.  Did I expose
her to some horrible disease when we went out on our adventures?  If so,
will our other ferrets catch it?  Did the doctor miss something simple that
could have saved her life?  I'd lay awake wondering if we'd failed her.  I'm
sure many of you who have lost fuzzies have suffered thru the same angst.
 
After Amber's death, I began to find Steller's Jay feathers in the yard.
They were so pretty, I put them on her grave.  They seemed more appropriate
than flowers.  Especially so, when you consider how much Amber enjoyed
jumping and flying.  It seems like the times I feel the lowest, I look down
and find a pretty feather.  Last year, Amber attended the Blues Festival
with me.  This year, I went alone.  I was feeling really bummed yesterday,
missing Amber's company, and thinking there'd be no feathers in this crowded
city park to comfort me.  Almost instantly, a feather in the grass caught my
eye.  How it didn't get trampled is beyond me.  It was only a pigeon or duck
feather, but it was if Angel Amber flew by and dropped a little message of
love.
 
Sandy Streit
[Posted in FML issue 1996]