>From:    Jason <[log in to unmask]>
>Subject: HELP!  Moving to CA
 
(-snip-)
 
>Here is the problem.  Im sure it is not an uncommon one... We have 5
>fuzzies and are about to have to move to California.  Los Angeles to be
>exact, for career reasons.  We have kept up with the laws and the changing
>legislation, but I'm afraid it is not changing fast enough for our
>situation.  We will be moving there mid-July or the first of August.
 
I'm a fugitive too.  First point, it *might* not be necessary...there's a
hearing coming up the 14th where at least one State Assemblyman is going to
try to convince the F&G Commission to voluntarily "give up"; from what I
hear he'll have some potent arguments in his arsenal, so it just might work.
 
Second point, it's not at all hard to run the checkpoint itself; bathe the
weenies a day ahead of time plus their bedding in the carrier you use, don't
let them spread their odor all over the place in the car, buy an air
freshener, and keep them hidden, you'll do fine.  All they do is *ask* about
agricultural products; there's no search, not even drug-dogs.  About an
hour's drive or so from the border, take them to a park or other open space
and run the bejeesus out of 'em, to get them worn out and sleeping through
the checkpoint instead of wrestling, etc.  It'll be hot if you're doing a
Southern crossing; make sure they get lotsa water.  Or, consider turning off
the AC about 15-20 minutes prior to the border if it's hot, the temperature
will calm 'em down *fast*...I would *not* excercise 'em into passivity if
the temp is up past 85ish, which is possible that time.
 
Third, once you're "behind enemy lines", keep on good terms with your
neighbors.  I don't hide my ferrets, I introduce 'em around the neighborhood
as tame cuddly pets and then stay on really good terms with 'em...but as
I've stated before, I'm large, drive a nasty-lookin' bike, much leather, etc
(yet am a good neighbor!) so that may have something to do with my success
rate.  When dealing with a cop (over 20 individuals and counting so far) I
take the attitude of: "Ya, isn't it ridiculous, see how cuddly he is!" while
holding him on his back laying on my arm while I rub his belly/chin, sorta
"baby style" - both my ferrets are trained to relax in this pose, since it
makes them look totally tame and harmless and causes most cops to just roll
their eyes and walk away.  Failing that, pass your albino off as a rat -
I've done that a couple times...one thing they don't seem to teach at cop
school is zoology.  (Note: SFPD has a relaxed reputation overall...LAPD is
mebbe a *WHOLE* 'nuther story...can anyone comment from experience?)
 
Last, if you do get a confiscation: If any local Animal Control agency is
involved, and it hasn't gone to Fish&Game, RIGHT AWAY give them the name of
an out-of-state recipient for the ferret that you'll pay shipping costs to
send them to!  A friend, relative, somebody from the FML, whatever...then
retrieve them later.  Failing that, have them contact William Phillips, a
lawyer in Santa Rosa who runs a licenced "wild animal" shelter - see, you
can "route" your ferrets to a particular licenced shelter.  I'm sure there's
something similar in SoCal...better call Bill ahead of time (707 area code,
he's in the book or directory search under lawyers) to see if there's a
state-recognised ferret shelter in SoCal.  Or mebbe Jean with CDFA knows of
a shelter.  Rumor has it that *some* of those shelters can secretly route
your weasels back to you, sometimes through an out-of-state connection,
hintwinkhint.  I've even heard references to "FUR" - Ferret Underground
Railroad!!!  Wherever possible, keep F&G out of it if you can, try and cut
some deal fast with local animal control to pay for an out-of-state
shipment, best case, or route to a shelter you've made contact with.  Local
AC people aren't nearly as "gung-ho" as a Warden will be.
 
Note: my brother moved in with me, leaving his two female ferts in Idaho for
a few months with Mom.  We send Mom $80 for plane tickets for the skinnies,
picked them up happy and healthy in Reno and drove them back.  So call it
about $200ish for round-trip tickets for up to 3 or 4 long-necks, plus the
cost of a carrier...not good, but feasable in case of capture.  They
generally *won't* charge you with any fines or whatever, unless you get
caught multiple times or you're smuggling for profit.  Don't laugh!  You can
get $300 for babies in San Francisco, pay $100 each in Reno...not too
shabby.  My brother did a run like that a few years back, with 6...I can say
that 'cause he's moved back to Idaho now!  He's even more of a maniac than
me...
[Posted in FML issue 1558]