Greetings from a VERY longtime lurker.  I have been reading this list for
years in and never even once said Dook dook..  (Yes.. I know that I could
post anon but when you live so long in hiding you get paranoid.) I spent
many a dollar writing to my so-called representitives and was dissapointed
time and again..  Fantod, my dearest friend, lived and died an outlaw..  he
didn't know it but I am sure he would have been pleased.  He was magic..
always seeming to know when I was down in the hard times and appearing out
of nowhere to cheer me up with his clowning...  When he died of the adrenal
curse I thought I would never be happy again.  I remember sitting in shock
wondering how to honour his last remains when my harpcase fell from the
closet on its own.  I stared at it and realized that he had spent more time
sleeping in it than the harp ever saw it.  He was buried in it..  with his
favorite toy and a banana.  I soon realized that I missed him with a cold
pain I thought I would never survive..  and then I had a dream.  I dreamt of
someones hands holding him..  he had on his collar and leash and he looked
better..  fat and furry and not sick and thin and hairless as he was.  The
hands handed him to me and I held him and wept with joy at getting to hold
him again.  He squirmed in his usual bratty way as I kissed his head and
told him how much I missed him.  When I woke up I felt better, as if I had
been shown that he was alright and someone was taking care of him.
 
Now I have Fiochmhar and we live in a place of freedom and sanity and I
cannot even tell you what a relief it is.  I still run to scoop him up and
hide him when someone comes to the door..  and then I remember and sigh with
relief.  Ten years of conditioned reflexes are hard to overcome..
[Posted in FML issue 1523]