To: FML
From: anon@anon
Subject: Ferrets in Mass
 
        Stopped by the Mass State House this past week to drop off a copy of
"Ferrets Unmasked" as well as a really great book of cute ferret pictures
and good instructions  called "Your First Ferret" by Adelle Porch.
 
        We now also have a copy of House Bill #295, (State House Document
Room #425 - ask at the Counter),  which will (if passed) allow the following:
1. Possession of a ferret
    a. As a household pet provided that it has been neutered or spayed at
the time of purchase, and has received distemper and rabies shots.
    b. For breeding, after the attainment of a license for an annual fee to
be determined but not LESS than one thousand dollars.
    c. For research by a recognized institution.
    d. For education by a recognized institution.
2. Hunting with a ferret is not legal.
3. Releasing or allowing a ferret to escape into the wild is not legal.
4. Ferrets shall not be sold in a pet shops.
 
        Also, in a search to find some people who may be against these
little guys I called the Fish and Wildlife folks (now THERE is an oxymoron)
and had the most 'interesting' conversation.  We learned that:
 
        The bill was almost passed last year, but was defeated partly by the
pet shops who wanted to sell ferrets.  If that provision were dropped this
year, Fisheries would be against the bill as would probably also The Animal
Rescue League and the MSPCA, due to impulse buying and the greater likely
hood of strays from people who could not take care of them.  No 'ferral
population talk', so far so good.
 
        Then I was told that the rabbies vaccine hadn't been adequately
tested or proved effective (not true), and hadn't been accepted by the CDC
(that's not their job, it's the USDA, and they have).  Also that he had
heard of reports of 'mauling of infants' by ferrets, and that RI and
Connecticut had prohibited their ownership in a family with children under
two years of age.  He (obviously) had no specifics, but went on to say that
"babies make these gurgley noises which somehow attracts ferrets, and after
all they ARE mustelids like weasles, fishers, and polecats."  He also said
that pet store employees were "very often" bitten by ferrets, and that no,
these were not young animals teething, but in fact were real biters.
 
        "Oh My".  I wanted to feel sorry for him, but didn't know quite what
to say.  He was the official 'expert', and like Alan B's experience in
yesterday's FML (Thanks Alan) with Dr Neil, this guy, appears to be having a
difficult time with reality.
 
        He was surprised that ferrets were now legal in all but three
states, and also about Michigan's recent legalization.  He thought that they
should remain illegal in Hawaii, and also in California because of the
"Mediterranean climate and plant life there".  He was also of the opinion
that California had legalized ferrets, but had changed their mind.  Not my
understanding.  California folks ???
 
        Well, would he really be in favor of legalizing an animal
(proportedly) this vicious?  Yes he thought so, because of all the calls
(2-3 per day) that his office had been receiving from ferret people in Mass,
asking about the status of the bill.  He was hoping to end that.  (Now I WAS
confused).
 
        We had quite a pleasant conversation (honest), about the history of
ferrets in this country as he knew it, and perhaps I might have planted a
seed or two of doubt, or got him thinking about some contradictions.  Also,
if (hopefully) I sounded like a good person, and spoke well of ferrets, then
perhaps they might not be QUITE so bad as well, and thus progress is made.
 
        Ah well, this has gone on long enough, but I think the point is that
ferrets seem IMO anyway, to be one of those things that make up the
substance of Urban Fables; you know like the 'breaded mouse' at Kentucky
Fried Chicken.  Everyone just KNOWS that it happened, and Look Out, but in
actuality it most certainly never did.  A lot of us know too that smoking or
a high fat diet can kill, but not US personally until after the heart
attack.  So too, many know in their heart that ferrets are bad, till they
get to know one.
 
        It is perhaps then not so much how to go about replacing people like
this, as it is about how to go about replacing their ideas.  Until that is
done there will be lots of others right behind them.
 
        Keep up the good work, and especially the calls and letters all you
Massachusetts people. The legislators, all of em, could use a few right now
to show support and interest, and to keep this from getting stuck in
committee again.  Tell your friends who don't know about ferrets, and
especially those that aren't yet on the internet.  Get them to write letters
in your behalf, or (smile) write letters on their behalf, and get them to
sign.  With a little luck, the kind that only comes from a little work by
each of us, we CAN pass this thing.
 
                                Rocky, Squeekers & Jack too.
[Posted in FML issue 1117]