Speaking of major appliances, Onyx scared the HECK out of me this morning!
 
Earlier I'd given the kids a bath, and they were bounding around acting
like ferrets do after a bath.  I played with them a while and then went to
get a couple of things done around the house, as they were happily playing
ferret- tag w/ each other.
 
Anyway it got quiet a while later so I went into the ferret area to make
the rounds and pick up the sleeping fuzzbutts and put them back in their
cage.  Grover was curled up in his cardboard ferret-condo playhouse, the
new kid was sound asleep in the middle of my folded afghan, and Onyx...was
absolutely NO dang place to be found!  I looked everywhere, tore the bed
apart, under the dresser, in the closet baskets, in the tub, even in the
shelving in the kitchen which she's learned to climb, behind the hot water
heater... NOTHING.  I went from that-cute-bratinski-went-and-hid-on-me to
Oh-H*ll-where-IS-she?!?!  mode.
 
I grabbed up Grover and the new kid and put them in the cage, then looked
through the REST of the house, squeaking their toy and rattling the bag of
banana chips (her favorite) and calling her name.  Couldn't find her
anywhere.  Worse, the cat was very complacently watching me from the floor
in the living room, which is just about proof positive that Onyx was
nowhere near him.
 
About then I was really getting terrified.  The only place I KNEW of that
she could have gotten out of the house was in the laundry, and that,
fortunately, was securely locked off.  I couldn't figure out where the
heck she was!
 
I turned off the radio, turned off the propane gas heater, and turned on
all the lights, trying to hear and/or see ANYTHING.  I thought, for a
moment, that I heard a faint scratching, but for a long while I couldn't
locate it.
 
Finally, finally, I saw her.  Well, some of her... the very end of her
nose, sticking out from under the kitchen stove (this is within the
supposedly ferret-proofed area.) I sighed a deep breath of relief and tried
to tempt her out with a banana chip, which she normally comes running and
begging for.
 
She stuck her head out a tiny bit further, then pulled back under the
stove.  I started griping, of course, about her stubbornness.  Only
eventually did I realize she was, indeed, stuck.  I don't know how she
got under there...perhaps one place was a bit taller than others, but she
couldn't seem to find her way back out again.
 
Eventually what it took was me teasing her with a chip to poke her nose out
from under, again, and then bodily LIFT the front end of the stove with one
arm, then grabbing her and dragging her very carefully out from under, with
the other hand.  I had to actually *work* her out from under it, ever so
gently.
 
She wasn't harmed, thank god, and is now safely sleeping in the cage with
her buddies.  Needless to say, the kitchen is now off-limits til I can get
that !@#$!@$#!&$(@#!* stove blocked off!!!
 
>Jumpstart has a new game that drives Glueball BONKERS!  He stnads in front
>of her, facing away, acting like he's ignoring her, and then WHAM!  He
>swings his bum and bops her one in the nose with his haunches!
 
Onyx does something similar -- she'll "flat ferret" and totally ignore one
of the others (or me!) until her intended victim gets too close... then she
pounces!  Grover's starting to learn this from her, too.
 
(WA-state) Megan, and
Onyx ( But Moooooommmm, I thought there were craisins under there! )
Grover ( The condo's much more fun, dopeybutt. )
Loki ( Hey, no one told me that baths were part of the deal! )
and Cinnebar-the-cat ( still researching these strange creatures )
[Posted in FML issue 2508]