I don't know how I would have dealt with the past week or so if not
for everyone on here. Seriously. It helped so much to know there are
people out there who have gone through this. After I wrestled with the
decision for days, Lola was helped to the Bridge this morning. She
passed very peacefully while I stroked her, telling her that she would
be able to see Illura soon and she would have no more pain and no more
lumps. She was anaesthetized beforehand and barely fidgeted when they
put the mask on her. After giving her the shot the vet gently curled
her up; she just slept away.

I'm a complete wreck at the moment-- as expected as this had become it
doesn't make it hurt any less. She always needed to be near me, usually
inside my shirt, grooming me or just napping. Who will clean my eyes
now, or check my arms for fleas? The past couple of months I had just
been carrying her around with me constantly, she kept me company while
I went on the computer, watched television, or did anything around the
house. I was able to cuddle her inside my shirt one last time before
she passed, kiss her face and little deaf ears. I think it calmed her
down.

The vet kept saying how good she always was. She was an angel. I have
to keep reminding myself that I have no one to give Pred to tonight,
only one little sleeping lump to search for. Though she would never
admit it, I think Pukka will miss her. Lola was just a part of Pukka's
world, even though they didn't get along well, and now Pukka is alone.

I can't believe I won't see her little face peeking out at me anymore.
From the moment I saw her at Fox Valley Ferret Shelter and said, "Oh,
she's pretty!" that little face was stamped on my heart. I can't
believe she's actually gone. I need to stop writing before I lose it
again. Bridge greeters, please just make sure she finds her sister
Illura. Those two were inseperable, and now they can be together again.

Good night, pretty Lola. I love you forever.

[Posted in FML 5562]