This short and highly opinionated sketch is contributed to the list for
your amusement, digestion, disgust, argument and thought - what ever
strikes your fancy, Pilgrim.
 
It is my response to a querry from a distinguished reader.
 
Dear (name omitted),
 
The leather harnesses are English made and they certainly do know how to
make good ferret harnesses.  The leather harnesses I have are about 7 to 10
years old and are unfortunately no longer available in the USA.  Currently
nearly all the Figure-8 harnesses are made of nylon webbing and
unfortunately the "slipperyness" of the nylon in relation to the ferret's
fur requires one to put on the harness so very tight compared to putting on
the leather one, that the ferret is less than happy when you finally get
the nylon one fitted properly.
 
As you may gather from what I wrote previously, the ferrets are tethered
outside all day and are not constantly watched, since it is so very unusual
that any ferret ever gets out of his harness.  Once in a great while it
happens, but not very often.  On the other hand with the nylon harnesses,
if it's put on to the same tightness of the leather one, the ferrets are
out of them in a short time.  So to ensure that the nylon harness is
escape-proof they have to be put on a bit tighter than the leather ones.
And, being so tight, the ferrets are unhappy, especially at first.
 
In addition the nylon harness is a pain in the "you know where" when you
need to adjust its size to the different sized ferrets by putting more
holes in the strap.  You can't use a leather punch like you can with the
leather harnesses, and it's so easy compared to putting holes in the nylon
ones.  In the nylon ones you have to burn holes in the strap with a heated
nail or awl and when you look on the underside of the strap, each hole has
a little doughnut-like ring sticking out that is so darn irritating when
you are trying to put the ferret in the harness, because each raised
doughnut of hardened melted nylon then catches on the edge of the metal
buckle.  Boy-o-boy, talk about frustrating!
 
As you may guess, I'm not particularly keen on the nylon harness.  I agree
with the English ferreters that you just can't beat the leather Figure-8
one.  It's far superior to the nylon because it's not as "slippery" as the
webbed nylon.  And it's so much easier to punch holes in it for the
different sized ferrets (if you have more than one and they are different
sized).
 
If you are interested, I am so darn unhappy with the ferret harnesses now
on the market that I'm thinking very seriously of manufacturing them
myself.  Etched into the harness strap I could put in your name and phone
number or other identification so that if the ferret escaped and was still
in harness, it could be returned to you hopefully.  Of course, being of
Polish/Hungarian/German ancestry I'd have to charge you an unmercifully
high price!  Yuk, yuk.
 
Am so glad you gave me this opportunity to talk to you and I wish you the
best.
 
Edward Lipinski   Ferrets NorthWest   FNW    Aller Anfang ist schwer.
[G.]  Just getting started is half the battle.
[Posted in FML issue 2645]