I gotta lota comments on the ferret evolution posts, most asking questions I
will try and get to as soon as I can find the time.  I also got one that
thought I picked on CaCa Land granola-munching city-babies too much.  Well,
if they would stop worrying if their beemer was the right color of silver
and started checking to see if the Fish and Gestapo propaganda had any basis
in fact, I might be a teeny-bit nicer.  In any case, we all know the best
satire is that which bites, right?  If it doesn't make you wince, it isn't
any good.  But to set the record straight, I was born and raised in CaCa
Land, and am quite full of it.  I spent days during my teen years working
cattle or almond trees, and my nights watching the nightlife on the canal
banks (Central Valley people will understand....).  My late father's ranch
was less than an hour from Yosemite, and we still have a cabin and land near
Strawberry, not far from Cherry Lake.
 
You don't have to be a rocket scientist or an ecologist to know the problems
with the forest are not feral animals, but HUMAN impact.  Our forests and
animals are not dying from feral ferrets, or even feral cats, but from too
damn many people.  To listen to the CaCa Land Fish and Gestapo scream bloody
terror about the ferret being dangerous to the local wildlife, and realizing
they have never studied it, use unavailable undergraduate class reports and
personal communications as evidence, is just unbelievably frustrating to me.
 
I love California with a deep passion.  I used to camp in Yosemite when it
cost a quarter a night down by the Merced River, and not all the smoke was
wood; I've climbed Half Dome with petons and gold line and a chock was
something your wrote on a blackboard with, I've hiked the entire Pacific
Crest Trail, using Vasque Whitneys and a Kelty Tioga pack, once non-stop,
and twice in portions, and never ate styrofoam from foil packs.  I've been
in water so cold I looked like a girl in tight pants on a hot night.  I've
been absolutely terrified during a sudden and severe lightning storm on top
of Half Dome, trying to find *any* place out of the open and away from the
trees and steel cables.  I once slipped off a rock and fell upside down into
an 8-foot snowdrift, smashing my 4X5 and breaking my wrist on the hidden
boulders, and was pulled out by a 45-yr-old 4'8" 80 lb female ranger who saw
my foot sticking out of the drift, who only stopped to take a look at the
same beautiful ice formation I was photographing.  I've taken inner city
kids to the 9000 ft level for a no-tent sleep out, and pointed out satelites
and stars until the sun came up.  Ever see a sun-rise at 9000 ft.  or the
eyes of a child that has only seen dank alleys and grafitti?  I've stood
with my feet at the edge of a cliff on Mt.  Laguna, near San Diego, and
looked out on a 7000 ft drop, with cold air on my back, and hot air on my
face.  Take my advice; don't spit.
 
California has it all, and organizations like the fish and gestapo are
allowing it to be raped for poorly thought-out economic and political
reasons.  They turn their back on the problems they themselves have caused,
and point at the ferret with poisoned finger and indignant voice, croaking,
"fowl murderer!" You can be sure, so long as those scientifically retarded
biocrats who think open space is wasted and the only animals worth
protecting are those endangered by humans or those they can sell permits to
kill, that I will scream their names in vain.  Feral dogs, cats, burros,
goats, sheep, pigs, pheasant, quail, fish, and plants are not a problem.
Nonexistant feral ferrets are.  I'm sorry, did I forget that a lack of
evidence is not an obsticle to the Gestapo?  Nope, just make the crap up,
report phone calls from anti-ferret cronies as fact, or cite unpublished
undergraduate papers that agree with you.  Then cite it over and over so you
can build an artifical data base.
 
THEN, get what I thought were otherwise intelligent national organizations
like the Audubon Society or Sierra Club to agree with your non-findings, and
declare the ferret to be a hazard.  Who needs science, who needs evidence,
hell, who even needs the truth?  As long as bungling biocrats can feed their
bile-laced propaganda as fact, and yogart-sucking burkenstock booted
boneheads embrace it without question, I will be here to yodel their
stupidity.  I'll be the blowfly, the wart, the prick on the rose, the single
drop of sweat making a beeline for your butt, the gnat in your eye, the
mosquito in your ear, the "no" on a hot date, (or the "oh no!" later), and
the poop in the corner.  I will not keep a silent voice when a government
organization uses it's vast resources and influence to force down a public's
throat psuedo science with no more relationship to fact than the hair on a
gestapo agent's butt proves they are human.  I have right on my side, the
Fish and Gestapo have vomited deceit on the public trust (not to mention
what foul organic paste they've smeared on the constitution), and a little
humor, sarcasm and satire is the least those spawn of degenerate facist
saprogenic stooges deserve.  They are nothing more than obtuse brown-shirted
bullies, and those granola-brained members of the Audubon Society and Sierra
Club that support their evil anti-science should have a full understanding
of the legal definitions of prostitution before they climb in bed with their
state-sanctified disease-ridden Sacramento Johns.
 
I am a single individual and they are thousands of gun-toting cop wanna-bees
with more bullets than brains.  I don't have a gun or secret squads of
undercover agents ready to bust unwary but obviously dangerous housewives.
I just have my brains and my wit, so you can see it is not exactly a fair
fight.  But if you like, I can spot them some points and tie my data behind
my back.....
 
Bad to the Bone Bob and 20 MO Gestapo Poopers
 
"Whenever the government unfairly injures the most modest of it's citizens,
and those citizens do not call into account that government, by force if
necessary, then those same citizens deserve their govenment and have no
rights of complaint."
 
"Freedom is not usually taken all at once, like a lion after prey.  It is
typically lost like a mouse stealing bits and pieces of bread until one day
you look into the larder and find everything gone and the mouse has
transformed itself into a lion."
[Posted in FML issue 2091]