Dear Wolfy-
 
Time spent as your roomie at the Derby City BFF Forum taught me that
sometimes you need a little help with the details.
 
1) It was not an *octopus* that I left in a little wicker basket in our
shower stall, along with a folded washcloth and some little shampoos.
It was a glow in the dark *jellyfish*.  I waited for days for you to
find it and be boggled.  But nope.  You even took a *shower* with it,
and never noticed that there was a ten inch long rubber glow in the
dark jellyfish in the stall with you.
 
At one point I considered putting it in a more obvious place so that you
could find it.  I thought of the toilet.  But then it occured to me that
you might miss it there, too, and flush it.  Neither Holiday Inn nor the
IFC would have been too happy with me if that had happened, so finally I
just gave in and pointed it out to you.  As a *jellyfish*, not an
octopus.
 
And I blamed Linda Iroff for its being there.  Yes I did.  She could
have done that.  It's possible.
 
Now my two year old nephew takes it to bed every night.
 
You also missed the bright green and yellow John Deer bumper sticker on
the main vanity mirror, the one you brushed your teeth in front of every
morning, and put your eye makeup on in front of.  Yeah, *that* mirror.  I
believe it was one of the California sisters who finally pointed out its
existence to you on their brief visit to our room.  Hmmmm.  They noticed
it right away.
 
2) I did not just wear my flashing LED sandals in the hotel *hallways.*
I wore them to the Symposium section of the Forum at the Zoo where we
were giving a public talk to a group of ferret lovers.  Together.
Remember?  Flashed all day, flashed all night, every time I took a step.
Hard (for most) to miss.  We spent hours together that day.  "Member?
 
3) You got that quiet "look" because I did not know you well enough to
let you hear my interior monolouge.  As you may have noticed, however,
the little voices inside my head were actually very busy....flirting with
hunky young waiters, for example.  I really liked the way that kid in the
breakfast restaurant called me Ma'am with a smile after I asked him if he
was on the menu, and gave him our room number.  After that, he found many
occasions to call me Ma'am, and smile.  Such a nice boy.  He never let my
coffee go cold, no sir!  Remember Chris behind the front desk?  He was
one of my acquisitions, too.  I can't recall any other occasion at which
I enjoyed such fine service at a Holiday inn.
 
4) The green pepper, which you brought to the Forum and kept on the desk
right next to the TV for the duration of your stay (Why?  Couldn't find a
jellyfish?) got used as a paperweight.  I left it on top of an envelope
containing a cash tip for our room-cleaning ladies, who were all probably
a bit nervous dealing with the ten inch long glow in the dark rubber
jellyfish in the shower stall.  They did put new little soaps and
shampoos in with it every morning, inside its' little wicker basket.
Now that's service.
 
Hope these little clarifications help.
 
Alexandra in MA
[Posted in FML issue 5227]