OK...
 
After reading yesterday's posts however and seeing not one but TWO posts
where Amanda chastised the FMLers for "flames" and for getting so worked
up over the situtaion and not offering her the support she feels she's so
entitled to, I'd like to at least address some of her sentiments.
 
Amanda, despite your posts criticizing the response of the FMLers, YOU are
the one who stirred up this hornet's nest, and if you've been stung a few
times, it is because YOU have offered information without giving the whole
story, and alternate between telling cute funny Monty stories, and then
wailing that you don't know what you're going to do and might need to find
him a new home.  If FMLers have been concerned and frightened for Monty's
safety (I know I have been after reading your see-saw emotional posts), it
is only because your own feelings and situation seem to differ so greatly
from day to day.
 
You have not enjoyed the responses regarding your son.  But in that post,
you offered only the information that your son was picking up on your
husband's "hatred" (your word, Amanda) and trying to "stomp" Monty.
Indeed, it WOULD have put it into a little more perspective if you'd
clarified that your son is only 18 months old, but you did NOT offer this
information at all.  I envisioned a hulking teenager or a young adolescent
trying to stomp a defenseless ferret.  If you've been flamed on this, you
have only yourself to blame for leaving out a fairly important detail!
 
THEN, after you've gotten people extremely concerned (there are few things
that will galvanize ferret lovers more quickly than a remark that your
child is trying to "stomp" your ferret), you offer a tale of your husband
playing with Monty with a fishing pole, and describe how Monty has been
given a room and separated from the rest of the household.  Perhaps he was
not "isolated", but your post gave that impression, and I was picturing
this little ferret, shunned by the majority of your family, now locked
away in a "separate" room so that he wouldn't bother your husband.
 
Several posts that have gone into detail describing your efforts to stand
up to your husband (I believe we got all the details of your conversation
in which you "took a stand") as well as several of the problems in your
marriage.  This is one reason I feel your posting is more about gaining
sympathy and support for yourself than gaining help for Monty.  Those of
us who are worried about Monty seem to get more details about your
personal life than we do about the ferret's situation.
 
FMLers are responding to YOUR descriptions of your household, which you
alternately paint as "rosy" or "horrific", depending on your mood that
day.  You're an adult and have many avenues to take if you need help.
Monty has only you as a caretaker, and people feel badly that Monty is
being turned into the "problem" when there are clearly much greater
underlying issues.
 
You cried out for help, yet didn't respond to people offering to take him
and offer him a better life (since by your own admission this 5-year-old
fur kid is on his 4th home).  You want to air all your dirty laundry on
the FML regarding your family problems, but don't feel that anyone has the
right to comment on them.  You want sympathy and support regarding your
husband's attitude toward Monty, and you also want people to say, "Oh, all
is well" because Hubby is willing to dangle a fishing pole on occasion.
 
The last post about the ferret and the guinea pig eating Cheerios
harmoniously was not a "cute" story, it made me absolutely shudder.  The
guinea pig is lucky that Monty happens to be a laid-back ferret.  Amanda,
it is these kinds of posts that just make me clap my hand to my forehead
and say, "What is she THINKING?" Presenting it as a cutesy,
look-ferrets-and-guinea-pigs-can-play-together story was not only
inappropriate, it was irresponsible.  I hope no one read that and decided
to see if their guinea and ferret would like to share a chumly bowl of
Cheerios!
 
(Also, in that story, I am confused as to who didn't latch the cage
properly...you say your dad brought his guinea pig over, then you say that
"she" didn't latch the cage and Monty ended up in the guinea pig's cage.
Who is the "she" who didn't latch Monty's cage?  This story has an odd,
untruthful ring to it.  I have to wonder if this actually happened the
way you say it did!).
 
Amanda, your OWN words have caused the concern and, yes, some of the
flames from the FMLers that you have been experiencing.  Your posts
yesterday paint yourself as an innocent bystander who asked for sincere
help and then got blindsided by irrational, angry people.  This is a far
cry from what actually happened.  You have confused and concerned the
people on this list until some no longer know if they can believe you at
all.
 
If youire going to be so sanctimonious and righteous and compare the FML
to a "forest fire", at least have the decency to admit that you're the
one who struck the first match.
 
-Heather in Massachusetts
"If you comment vaguely on your son trying to stomp out a ferret, you'll
 find yourself trying to stomp out some flames!"
[Posted in FML issue 3716]