I've owned dozens of ferrets since 1985 and was always amused (and puzzled)
by ferrets being characterized as "sock stealers" because I never had a
ferret show the slightest interest in a sock -- until now.
 
Zodiac is a new addition to the family - 4 months old.  She works very hard
to remove every dirty sock from the hamper and stash them behind our
dresser for snacking on.  She also attempts to remove all clean socks from
dresser drawers.  This behavior led to the following series of experiments:
 
EXPERIMENT #1: Dirty Socks mixed with other miscellaneous laundry.  Zodiac
can sort out all socks from two hamperfuls of laundry, both white and dark,
without ever touching a piece of underwear, t-shirt, or other "sweaty"
item.
 
EXPERIMENT #2: Pile of Dirty Socks Only (men's/ women's/ light/ dark/
various fabrics and styles) Zodiac's repeated preference is for men's dark
dress socks with cotton and wool content (which unfortunately are quite
expensive and these are the ones that must have holes chewed in them).
Second preference is all-cotton white socks, also men's.  Third preference
is women's socks of any sort.
 
EXPERIMENT #3: Freshly washed whites laundry - washed and rinsed TWICE with
hot water and bleach, to eliminate dirty sock odor.  Didn't matter -- she
pulled every sock out of the pile and ignored the rest of the laundry.
Men's socks still were preferred over women's.
 
EXPERIMENT #4: Freshly washed mixed socks.  Clean socks were still pulled
in the order of preference in Experiment #2, but not with as much deadly
accuracy.
 
EXPERIMENT #5: BRAND NEW SOCKS! (necessary anyway because of all the
socks that were destroyed in previous experiments). Never been worn or
washed!
 
#5a: mixed with a pile of other dirty laundry.
#5b: mixed with a pile other clean laundry.
Made no difference. The brand new socks were still sorted out, stolen,
and stashed away.
 
I AM AT A LOSS.  HOW DOES THIS FERRET KNOW WHAT A SOCK IS?  Odor, color,
fabric content, size, and style (from long knee-high tube to footies) MAKES
NO DIFFERENCE!  I don't know what else to test in my experimental design!
Help!
 
- Erika and the dirty dozen, including Zodiac the sock thief.
[Posted in FML issue 2893]