>From:    Bob C <[log in to unmask]>

Said Bob:
>I got home this morning after a short day stop in Chicago to see my
>honorary nephew Sam and to thank Kim Schilling and Dr. Susan Brown
>for their attention and care at the symposium.

To which I reply:
Children are odd in that they seem to gravitate toward the frail and
weak. Like helping a little baby bird. I've decided that's why my son
adores you so much. It's that sixth sense. Obviously Susan and I were
the same way when we were children. You even looked like a baby bird
with that hair of yours. Not another peep on how you looked.....

Said Bob some more:
>If it wasn't for them, I would not have made it through the symposium
>and would have been in hospital much sooner and perhaps longer. Kim
>went so far as to buy chicken broth from the hotel room service (say
>goodbye to $10) and never peeped a sound when I largely wasted it
>later. The two checked on me throughout the symposium, giggled at the
>sounds I was making in the bathroom, made sure I had something to
>drink, that I wasn't actually dying, and would tell me jokes to help
>cheer me up during a horrific weekend.

And again I reply:
Well, I wanted to check you in sooner, but do you ever listen to me?
But as your best friend you're worth at least $10 and some change to
me. If you want to waste it, that's your business. I could give a
poop. Hee! And it wasn't so much the sounds that were coming from the
bathroom that made Susan and me giggle uncontrollably like little
girls; It was the ALCOHOL we'd consumed and the image of you lying
belly down with your butt up in the air on the bed, moaning something
about a bad batch of Bob's Chicken Gravy.

Bob makes a public promise:
>Kim Schilling and Dr. Susan Brown were not the only people who
>conspired to keep me functioning. The entire speaker staff allowed
>themselves to be shifted in speaking order so that I could rest and
>rehydrate before my presentations (and other things I will never
>speak of again).

Which I challenge:
Bob, you love bodily functions as much as you love ferrets. And more
than that you love to recount stories for anyone who'll listen. Do you
really expect we're to believe that we've heard the last of Bob's 2007
Bodily Functions Symposium? Although I'll have the sounds of Bob
echoing in my ears for all of eternity, I'm certain you'll do your
best to help the less fortunate relive your experiences through your
countless tales. Never speak of again......it's us you're talking to,
Bob.

Says Boob:
> <Snip> There were others involved but because I was so ill, I did not
>keep track of them. Some may have helped and I never heard or found
>out about the assistance. Nonetheless, I appreciate all the help I/we
>received from everyone.

Says I:
Well, I'll help you to at least remember Mark and Debbie Fitzgerald,
because they shadowed me the whole Symposium. I thought it was because
they enjoyed my company, but ALAS, it was likely because they were
concerned about you. Mark and Debbie were a huge support to you (and
me) while you were butt up and face down in bed. They bent over
backwards to help any way they could. You probably just don't remember.
There were many others as well that I'd like to thank, but I'm no good
with names. Just know I appreciate the help you all provided.

All kidding aside, Bob, you didn't let a single soul down. Even when
you're feeling your worst, your lectures are amazing. You're always
thinking of others, and people appreciate that of you. You're a
gentleman and a sweetheart.

Kim

[Posted in FML 5662]