I am not twisted.  I am demented and have a membership card from Dr.
Demento to prove it.  Well, I am also warped which probably results from
too many taco and beer parties.  Which is why I am so butt ugly.  Well,
not exactly butt-ugly.  I've seen at least one butt that was so ugly it
made me look like Brad Pitt.  Not only ugly, but a double-wide.  It was
like a giant alien cellulite butt.  It was as ugly as the CaCaLand Fishing
Gestapo are stupid.  Not even I am that ugly; at least I don't think so.
But I am that demented.  I collect demented tunes and have more than 200
CDs ranging from "Please Warm My Weiner" (Hokum Blues song from the 1920s
sung by Bo Carter) to "Albuquerque" (Novelty song from 1999 sung by Wierd
Al).  I *LOVE* em.  One of my favorites is Johnny Cash singing Dylan's "It
ain't You Babe," but Don McLean singing "On The Amazon" is pretty funny as
well.  So you can see, I am DEMENTED, not twisted.  Please adjust your
records to accurately reflect my particular type of insanity.  Thank you.
 
Bob C and 18 Mo' Demented Lovepups
[Posted in FML issue 2832]