Howdy,
 
Goodness, my last post seemed to cause discomfort for a number of people.
I was suprised at the number of people who snorted their beverages through
their noses.  I must express my sincere apologies.  I, in no way, shape or
form, intended any harm to their nasal passages.  I especially feel sorry
for the hot coffee drinker.  Aaaa, what am I saying.  I'm not sorry.  I got
a kick out of it.  I'm a sadistic person who enjoys watching people with
carbonated beverages coursing through their sinuses.
 
Well, now that I got that out of my system, I want to discuss this wall
pooping thing some more cuz I think I figgered it out.  Many of you
suggested that one of the ferrets could have just backed way up the wall to
deposit the poopie.  I would've thought that too at first but the thing is,
none of my weezils are 14 inches tall.  So I had to discount that theory.
 
Kelly, Rocky Rockfish and Lit'l Guy wrote to me and suggested that perhaps
more than one of my ferrets had to use the facilities at the same time and
one ended backing up over the top of the other one, thereby getting more
height.  I considered this because if I stacked all my weezils up, they
might reach 14 inches.  However, I had to discount this theory also because
I can not imagine my ferrets standing still long enough to form a ferret
pyramid and accomplish the task.
 
This got me thinking though.  What if two ferrets, asleep in different
parts of the room, suddenly woke up at the same time and both had to go
poopie really, really bad.  So, simultaneously, they both get up and streak
to the litter box at roughly mach 12.  The resulting collision could have
thrown one of the ferrets about 14 inches up the wall and in the stress of
the situation, the disconcerted ferret would've let go of his bowels,
depositing da poopie on da wall.  But, I had to throw this theory out too.
For one thing, it's just plain too siily.  Also, if any of my ferrets had
to go potty that bad, they wouldn't bother going all the way across the
room, mach 12 or not.  And the fastest I've ever clocked my ferrets is only
mach 10.
 
Then it came to me, as Marco the Pomeranian walked past that particular
spot on the wall.  I noticed that his back was about 1inch lower than that
spot on the wall.  Then add in about 1 inch from the floor to a ferret's
butt and Ah-Ha!  It was a multi-species conspiracy!  The ferrets and the
Pom have been secretly teaming up behind my back.  Their fighting when I'm
there was all for show, to keep me off guard.
 
I figger it had to be one of two scenarios, depending on which species was
more intelligent.  If the ferrets were more intelligent, they were using
Marco as their battle vehicle, allowing poopies to be place in much more
stategic locations for my enjoyment.  Instead of just stepping in them, I
could also sit in them.  Makes me glad I have a Pom and not a Great Dane.
If the dog was more intelligent, he could've been using the ferrets as a
new secret weapon to use against his enemies.  There's nothing like a
shoulder-mounted weezil poop blaster to take out those you detest..
Whichever the case, the trial run must have failed because there hasn't
been a repeat performance.
 
At least not that I know of. Now I always watch where I sit.
 
May your nasal passages be forever free of foreign fluid,
Limejello & The Weezils of Doom
[Posted in FML issue 2590]