First of all, my sympathy to you, Anjie, on the loss of Itty-Bitty.  The
pain we feel upon the loss of our pets is very real, normal, and healthy.
Don't let anyone tell you not to feel it.
 
However, just based on your short email, I'm not so sure you are to
blame, here.  Just being trapped under a desk for an hour or two (or even
10) wouldn't cause anyone to die.  Unless she 1) chewed the electrical
wires and was electrocuted, 2) got her neck stuck when she was trying to
get out and got strangled, or 3) sustained internal injuries from
squeezing under, or 4) was crushed by the moving desk when you were
looking for her, or 5) found a little piece of who-knows-what under your
desk to chew and choked, then it seems possible to me that she may have
just happened to die in the wrong place.
 
Yes, no normal household room is ever completely ferret-proof, and yes,
we all know of the dangers ferrets face and of their skill at finding
said dangers, but even if her death was caused by one of the above
scenarios, you need to let go of the guilt and focus on the healing.
Guilt is a normal reaction, but I'd like to tell you that guilt should
be saved for the guilty.  Di Bachman should feel guilt.  The woman in
Utah, Jen Morrison, should feel guilt.  People who purposefully neglect,
endanger, and abuse people and animals should feel guilt.  People who
accidentally cause the death of an animal should only feel regret and
sorrow.
 
Let me repeat: Abusers are GUILTY.  They should be punished for their
actions, and they should be socially ostracized.  You are not "guilty,"
what you did or didn't do is regrettable.  If you could do it over again
differently, you would.  You are not an abusive, neglectful, or otherwise
bad caretaker.
 
Take care,
Chana
[Posted in FML issue 4233]