Allah be praised, Christ be honored, Confucius be thanked, and Buddha -
hey guy you done good.  Yeah Yehova too: right on friends!  You did me
right last night and at dawn too.
 
The good news: my little ermine girl by name of CAHIL-ni came back home
sometime during this morning's early hours and came right in through the
"left-opened" Ferretarium door.  Soooo happy, especially on Father's Day.
What a nice present of joy and happiness when I discovered her asleep in
an extra nest box, all curled up and just as warm as up-popped toast.
under several layers of old towels and such.
 
CAHIL-ni is a rescued little ermine lady, pure white except for a dusky
tail and those two bright twinkling negro eyes.  Boy, is she beautiful or
what.  Ummmm.  Gorgeous.
 
She is named after her source.  That being the Capitol Hill area of
Seattle, an area that is populated mostly by the homosexual crowd.  She
was never claimed by her legal owner and like an earlier pick-up from the
same neighborhood by name of CAHIL-ichi, her name, since she's the second
one recovered is CAHIL-ni.  As you know perhaps that "ichi" and "ni" are
the Japanese words for "one" and "two."
 
Last night about 12:30 or so I went out to the ferret digging grounds with
my flashlight to bring back into the ferretarium the several ferrets that
had been staked out there throughout the day.  Nothing was to be seen,
since all the ferrets were snuggled up asleep inside the tunnels they had
dug or enlarged during the day.  But I was shocked when I went to
CAHIL-ni's tunnel and saw the opened figure-8 Englander Geschirr [G.]
english harness lying limp and empty on the ground still attached by its
line to the hitching post.  Nope.  She wasn't in the tunnel either.  Hooo
Boy!!!  & S!P!F!!!*
 
Oh, my heart sunk like a rock.  Spent the next hour with a powerful
boater's flashlight going very slowly all around the neighborhood hoping
to spot her or the refection from her eyes that glow back at you like two
tiny, twinkling blue/green Christmas /Hanukkah lights.  I was nervously
aware that any moment a Mercer Island Police car would come and spotlight
me as a consequence of a nervous neighbor worried about some lunatic out
there after midnight shining a flashlight all around his house.  Yes, it's
happened before.
 
Didn't find her and crawed into bed feeling pretty damn disgusted with
myself for trusting my 10-year old Englander Geschirr.  I hate to admit it,
but somehow in my mind I said a very sincere prayer that she'd come home.
Now for an avowed agnostic, that's a guilt-laden admission.  Yes it is.
But she did come home safe and sound.
 
Now since I'm kinda' walking around here in the religious spirit, I'd like
to ask any biblical scholars out there if they can find in the earlier
version of the King James version of the Bible, the chapter and verse,
wherein it states in so many words, that God said he didn't much go for
the idea that people should eat ferrets.  Tis reported He said that's a
big No-No.
 
As the Bible was being translated into English for the good king James,
there was the prohibition about eating the gekko lizard that was common in
the Holy Land but not in the British Isles.  So, as the story goes, so not
to confuse King James, the translators substituted the word "ferret" for
the word "gekko" since there were wild ferrets all over England at this
time.  To my understanding, that's how the ferret got into the Bible, but
only in the very early editions.  Some time later it was expunged.  By whom
and by what authority, is very, very interesting to comtemplate, nicht
wahr?  [G.] not so?
 
Oh, and on another note of import to me, especially since I've had two
ferrets from the homosexual community, and both gave copious kisses, is
there even a remote possibility that HIV/AIDS could be transmitted via the
ferret's saliva from the saliva of the ferret's previous owner, whose lover
died of AIDS just prior to giving up this ferret?  Seems a little scary to
me.  Wasn't HIV/AIDS transmitted from the monkey to man originally?  I
recall that it was.  Could it also be transmitted from ferret to man?
Hmmm.
 
Do I have the responsibility to inform a would-be-adopter of such a ferret
that it was originally owned by now deceased victims of AIDS?  If so, would
that ferret ever be adopted into the non-homosexual ("straight") community?
 
Edward Lipinski . . . just  thinking, thinking, and thinking.  (Not the
famous last words of a German submarine Kapitan with a slight lisp.)
 
*S!P!F!!!  This is a salty USNavy epithet of extreme disgust, anger and
self deprecation to the max.  It means S**t!  P*ss!  F**k!!!  and is
usually explosively uttered with spittle spewing, bullet-like dropplets of
hot spit issuing forth between clenched teeth and pursed lips.  'Twas wise
to stand aways well aft and clear of a boatswain's mate who uttered such an
oath.
[Posted in FML issue 2717]