Biographies on Eumel and Frettchen (also known as "problem biter")
 
In December 1994, my wife and I were looking for a small pet we could keep
in our one bedroom apartment without feeling guilty about the constrained
space.  While poking around the pet store, we saw two strange looking
animals in a glass enclosure and thought: "who on earth would want a ferret
as a pet?"
 
Since we were amused by how they were wrestling in the enclosure, however,
we stayed hovering around them long enough for a store attendant to bring
one (Frettchen) out and drop her into our hands.  We were uneasy at first -
she started licking but then put her mouth around our fingers (harmless in
hindsight, but alarming at the time).
 
We decided to do some research and find out what we could about keeping
ferrets as pets.  Everything we found out was positive - anyone we talked to
said ferrets were the best pets they'd ever had and they came highly
recommended.  We talked for days about it.  Since my wife is German (and I'm
German-Canadian),we converse in German, and the discussion about the
"Frettchen" (the German name for ferret) made that name so familiar it ended
up sticking as our female's name when we went to the pet store and bought
her.
 
A few days later, our ongoing search to find out as much as possible about
caring for these pets found me calling a small local shelter called the
Ottawa Ferret Association.  I talked to Pegge Clarke (the shelter's
mainstay) for hours and learned much - among other things, that the wood
chips in the cage were a bad idea.  I was also saddened to learn how many
people get ferrets as pets only to mistreat/abandon them shortly thereafter.
 
Although we regretted buying from a pet store knowing other ferrets were in
need of adoption, we couldn't help thinking about Frettchen's brother and
what his fate would be.  He was a much larger ferret (even as a kit), and
somewhat more nippy.  After talking to Pegge at the shelter, we were able to
appease our conscious about potentially buying another pet store ferret when
many orphans still needed a home.  Eumel (as he was to become named), had
been shipped from the original pet store to other's in the same regional
chain because he wasn't selling.  We tracked him down and went out to see
him.
 
The store attendant didn't even want to pick him up - "I wouldn't buy him,
he bites a lot." - yet when I picked him up (having had a few weeks to learn
how to handle Frettchen), he just lay in my arms and stared up at me with
his huge eyes as if to say "please rescue me from this awful place." I
agreed to buy him ONLY if the pet store chain agreed to stop keeping ferrets
in wood chips.  I gave the store a copy of Pam Green's Ferret FAQ and am
happy to say they DON'T use wood chips anymore.
 
Brother and sister reunited was interesting at first.  Frettchen had
established our apartment as "her" territory and Eumel was a little
cautious.  Soon, however, they were interacting just as they has when we
first saw them together wrestling in the pet store.
 
THE PERSONALITIES
 
FRETTCHEN (also referred to by Mr. Lewis as "problem biter") - see
web page for photo.
 
'Frettchen' (German for ferret - official name)
'Mausi' (German for 'small like a mouse' -which she is compared to Eumel -
commonly used name
 
Frettchen was an independent personality from the outset.  When we nervously
let her out of the cardboard pet store box, she made her first 'dook' sound
and immediately disappeared under the shelving unit.
 
Frettchen has always been the little thief.  She will take any object,
regardless of size, and attempt to stash it in the PVC tubes we have behind
our couch.  She is also a fastidiously clean ferret.  She grooms Eumel (much
to his dislike) frequently, especially (and unfortunately for him) when he's
snoozing.
 
Frettchen's worst habit (sock chomping aside) is that she (for reasons
unknown) loves to chew on (and ingest) soft fabric and paper.  We suspect
this evolved from when she first stole an envelope from the edge of the
coffee table and stashed it in the PVC tube.  Once there, she seemingly
decided 'hey, I could chew on this!' Fortunately, she apparently has a
digestive tract of iron, as in those instances when we haven't caught and
stopped her chewing, whatever went in comes out without incident.  This is
quite a relief as we have a friend whose ferret's digestive track got
blocked eating a HAIR.  Frettchen mainly gnawed on the towels that were
SUPPOSED to be for comfortable sleeping.  Fortunately, she DOESN'T chew the
sleeping bags that have replaced the towels.  Any items (newspaper, letters
etc.) she can reach when she looks and sees something hanging over the edge
of the coffee table is considered fair game, however, but she doesn't get
much further than the tube entrance before we nab our little thief.
 
Aside from when she encounters socks, Frettchen never bites or nips, with
one exception that can be easily avoided: she has a fetish for bare skin if
left too long with it (although strangely, NOT bare feet).  In other words,
that gentle licking/grooming on your forearm can quickly lead to those sharp
teeth getting involved.  Letting her crawl into a sweatshirt (which she
would LOVE to do) would also be an exercise in bravery (or foolishness).
 
Frettchen is the consummate beggar.  She can sit patiently at your feet for
what seems an eternity if the prospect of getting a treat is there.  She
just looks up and gazes this pathetic 'how can you let me starve' look until
eventually the stronger will wins (that's usually the ferret, by the way).
Fortunately, it also means she comes running when you call her name,
especially if you make the 'treat' noise at the same time (a sound like an
exaggerated smooch kiss).  Her begging knows no shame.  She will lick your
toes until you eventually submit and give her a treat.
 
Susan & James Kramer ([log in to unmask])
Ottawa, Canada
www.igs.net/~kramer/
[Posted in FML issue 1997]