We have ten of 'em.  Ten.  I know that number pales in comparison to others
but I still don't know what to do.  I love them so much.  I want them all
to know that.  I don't want them to think that I have any favorites.  So
when I pick up Boo Boo and cuddle him part of my brain says that I am
behind on my cuddling to Fern, Critter and Dante.  But I may be a little
bit ahead on Gilly and Lars.  So if I hold Boo Boo a little bit longer I
can catch up with Gilly and Lars but that will only put me behind on Fern,
Critter and Dante even more.  So I will just give those three darlings
raisins to make up for cuddling time.  But wait, I am not sure about Buffy
and Bubba.  I think that I cuddled them twice yesterday along with two
raisins to catch up with the day before, but if I didn't that will put them
way behind on the love scale and I have been trying so hard to catch up
with Annie and Baby because I can only recall cuddling them once on Friday
(but it was the sweetest cuddle) and I remember cuddling them and giving
Lars and Critter raisins because it made everything even on the love scale
(I think).  So if I just give cuddles to Fern, Critter and Dante I will....
Wait a minute that throws me five cuddles behind on Annie and Buffy.  I
have a major problem here.  What do I do if they are keeping track?  If
they know I am off on my cuddles will they think that the love scale is
accurate?  Will they think that I love one of them more than the others?
I walk over to the kitchen cabinet where we keep the grocery bags.  I get a
big one out.  I run around my house and catch nine ferrets (Dante is number
ten, but he hates the others).  I put them all in my bag.  I cuddle the
bag.  And I whisper over, and over, and over that I love them so much.  I
let them out of the bag and they run away.  I'm sure that from now on they
will run away from me whenever they see me and my new cuddle bag.  Wow.
I'm all caught up.  Wait.  I have to get Dante.  I pick him up and cuddle
him and tell him over, and over, and over that I love him so much.  I'm
finally even with all of them.  Wait.  Is a one on one cuddle worth more
than a grocery bag cuddle?  I start looking for the others.  I know they
love me, but they are hiding.
 
Stan Boyes, Boo Boo, Buffy, Dante, Fern, Critter, Lars, Gilly, Annie, Bubba
and Baby.
[Posted in FML issue 3273]