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Subject:
From:
colburns <[log in to unmask]>
Date:
Sun, 12 Jun 2005 09:45:50 -0400
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You wrote:
 
So we, Nubby, Molly, Jenny, Missy, Toby & Timmy are going to be nice and
ask you fine folks to help our dear mom & dad out on any suggestions on
keeping us away from this new monster arriving in a few weeks.  (A new
sofa)
 
Oooh!  Oooh!  Oooh!  I have one!  Take ordinary painted metal raingutter
tubing and run a circle of it around the new sofa on the ground.  Now
fill the bottom of the tubing say, half an inch deep with kerosene all
around.  Punch about a hundred holes in the top of the tubing with a
screwdriver to let the eventual flames pour out.  Set afire.  (Here,
imagine Johnny Cash as a really jowly hob in a black leather jacket
singing 'Burning Ring of Fire.')  That will keep the ferrets out of
your new sofa.
 
For a while.  Eventually, you will need more kerosene.
 
Alexandra in MA
[Posted in FML issue 4907]

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