Dear Ferret Folks-
 
I work in a doctor's office.  The strangest people come there every day.
They are called drug-reps.  They work for the major drug companies, and
want to make sure that our boss, the doctor, knows all about the new line
of drugs that their company is offering.
 
These are not subtle people.  To make sure that we notice them, they
bring us presents.  Many many many presents.  Pens, pads, mouse pads,
highlighter pens with drug company names are all pretty standard.  Often,
they bring us food.  They'll buy our entire office lunch, say, four times
a week.  maybe five.  They compete to do it.  (Ever wonder why
Prescription drugs cost so much?)
 
Every now and then they try a really catchy gimmick to get our attention.
This time, they succeeded.  Imagine a ball about the size and shape of a
peach, made of foam rubber.  It is not whole, it has a slice cut out of
it, like an apple wedge.  Only it's not an apple or a peach.  It is a
prostate gland.
 
I am not making this up.
 
It is a "squeezie prostate" according to the drug-rep who gave us a dozen
of them.  When you look inside the wedge cut from it, you can see all
these little pink painted-on tubes and arteries.  It says AVODART on the
back side, presumably a drug for prostate problems or maintenance.  ( I
know very little about the prostate, aside from the fact that I do not
have one, and will presumably never be an AVODART customer.)  Being mature
people, who deal with life and death issues on a daily basis, we promptly
started throwing them at one another and just generally running amok in
the break room.
 
I brought mine home.  I knew how this seemingly useless device (did I ask
yet, if you ever wondered why prescription drugs cost so much?) could
best be employed.  As a ferret toy, of course!
 
Switch the Kit and Hurricane Lily had a wonderful supervised romp with
their squeezie prostate!  They took turns stealing it from one another,
and running through the giant silvery aluminum dryer vent hose maze with
it in their mouths.  (This is not what the makers of AVODART had in mind,
I assure you.)
 
After about fifteen minutes it began to take on a slightly tattered
appearance.  I decided that they had enough fun with their squeezie
prostate, and did not want them to devour chunks of the flesh-colored
foam rubber.  (Imagine explaining it to the vet?  "Well, ya see, she
was playin with her squeezie prostate toy, and...")
 
What were these drug people thinking?  Someone got paid (more money than
I make, I bet.  I'm in the wrong business) to design this thing, then
they got a factory contract to manufacture the squeezie prostate, and
import it here to the great land of goods and services.  They even put
their name on it.  Do you think that rival prostate drug manufactures saw
their rival's squeezie prostate and raged to themselves, "WE should have
thought of that!  Heads will roll down in Research and Development!"
 
Alexandra in Massachusetts
[Posted in FML issue 4259]