Gina: I can tell you what I used for mink and skunks.  I covered a short
section of dowel with rubber tubing, leaving about 1/8 inch overhanging the
"pill" end.  I filled this depression with nutrical or peanut butter, and
stuck the pill on the end.  I would straight-jacket the animal, then stroke
the throat until they yawned, then I would push the pill to the back of the
tongue.  I immediately pulled out the stick and clamped the mouth shut
(with my hands, although I thought of using c-clamps for the Devil in a
Mink Coat) until the pill was swallowed, continuing to stroke the throat.
I would then offer linatone or water to help wash it down.  I use a similar
technique for my little beasties, except I use my finger instead of the
rubber-stick, but then I don't have to worry about rabies or getting my
knuckles pierced.  The real trick is to get the pill on the back of the
tongue, where the swallow reflex takes over.
 
What I can't understand is why the beasties are so hard to convince to eat
stuff good for them, yet they insist on eating God knows what else.  Last
night I dozed on the couch, and woke up to the sight of Tori eating the
rubber midsoles of my boots.  Didn't want the leather uppers, didn't want
the composition soles, just wanted the rubber midsole.  And did a good job;
the heels are now quite furrowed.  Stella has always liked to chew on, now
get this, money.  She will pull a bill from your pocket and start to munch
away.  The ferret mind is unfathomable.
 
Bill Killian suggested I try offering the fuzzies a boiled egg.  What a
riot!  There was a mass of fur and a thunder of feet chasing down a rolling
egg, bouncing around like a football out of control.  Finally Bear got a
bite, and it looked like 20 hypersteroid-ectomorphs piling on a fumbled
ball, or maybe a dozen cub scouts going for the last cookie.  I was
laughing so hard I didn't mind the thousands of egg crumbs being smashed
into the carpet; at least not right away.  Moose grabbed the biggest piece,
and soon had the rest of the squad chasing him all over the living room.
When it was all over, I think about half the egg was in tiny pieces on the
floor or stick in various furcoats.  Still it was fun ;-)
 
I forgot who asked, but the question was which ferrets are endangered.
Excluding the domestic ferret which is endangered only by political idiots,
the only ferret in real danger is the black-footed ferret.  I am angered and
appalled at what is happening to this beautiful predator, but will save
those fiery comments to another day.  The truth is, like the California
condor, these little beasties will probably never recover from our wonderful
and wise efforts to save them.  Most consider the steppe and European
polecats to be safe, but of concern due to habitat loss.  The other members
of the subgenus Vison include the American mink, and the sea mink (extinct
about 1880).  While the mink is not in danger as a species, local
populations are severely threatened, especially in the everglades and parts
of California.
 
In reality, all wild mustelid populations are in danger; numbers can decline
for decades before the species is put on the endangered list and then it is
too late.  For example, in California, the F&G had a bounty on the cougar
until the 1970s when it was in danger of local extinction, and then the F&G
put it on the protected list.  From pest to protected, overnight.  Go
figure.  I wonder if any of those green-suited can't-recognize-a-long-
tailed-weasel-from-a-ferret cop-wanna-bees ever passed a biology course.  (I
swear they are the ones I gave "D"s to in anatomy lab.  "What is that?" I
would be asked, "Its hard and white." "Why, it looks like the femur," I
would reply.  "Do we have to know it for the test?" they would ask.  I would
look at them and shake my head, and they always thought I meant "no.") No
wonder they ignore data and invent factoids.  These are the same guys who
stake out homes in order to seize a ferret, but can't stop the poaching of
bear by people who want bear paw soup and gallstones in bile.  I would give
them the "business" if I could tie them up, strip them down, and smear
nutrical on their collective butts (if I had enough nutrical...).  Full moon
over California, butt attacks ferrets, news at 11!
 
Sorry BIG, it had to be said. I'm much better now.
 
Bob (Bespectacled Paleobiologist Displaying Unique Abdominal Scarification)
Moose, Stella, Daye, Tori, Bear, Apollo, Foster, Buddy, and Razz.
Bear says, "Look at me! I'm a fish-n-game fuzzie! I don't know a ferret
from my weasel..."
[Posted in FML issue 1395]