I just wanted to say something that might help people like Eppy's and
Snippet's families.  The hardest part about loving ferrets, for me at
least, has been accepting that I can't keep them safe and healthy forever.
When you love something that has the kind of curiosity, intelligence,
and self-will that a ferret does, you have to accept that you can't keep
them safe without locking them in a padded room.  Of course we have
responsibility for our companions, and of course we must strive to do our
best for them, but we can't completely protect them from the world without
crushing the things that make them ferrets (like the joy they take in
finding the forbidden!).  On some level, I think that our ferrets know
when we've done everything for them that we can, and I don't think they
blame us when accidents happen despite our best efforts.
 
I lost a ferret in the same manner as Eppy's mom.  For the first three
years, I thought about her every single day.  It's been 6 years now, so
I'm sure that no matter what happened to her, she's finally at rest.
It's better now, not having to worry where she is or what happened to her.
But nothing really helps when you just don't know.
 
And I lost one to a mystery illness, where the ferret passed on after a
miserable six months of subjecting her to every test the vet could dream
up.  All the money I had couldn't buy her any more time.
 
The only thing anyone has ever said to me that made me feel at all better
during those times is that "we only cry for ourselves".  After our ferrets
leave us, no matter what you believe about heaven or the afterlife, I
think we all believe that they're no longer in pain, and have reached some
kind of peace.  And I think that they know we've done all we could for
them.  So we're really only sad for our loss at not having their company
any more.
 
Finally, you go on and help another ferret, not as a replacement, but to
honor the memory of the one who is no longer with you.  You don't have to
adopt, but just try helping at shelters.  Help because your little one
would want you to.  I am sure that any of our ferrets who have passed on
would be so happy and proud if they knew we had helped another ferret,
even though we were too sad to take joy in it, just because we thought
they would want us to do so.
 
And eventually, maybe you will take another one.  Sometimes it's not love
at first sight, just friendship.  Over time, though, you will come to love
the new ferret, and you still love the ones who have passed on -- so love
grows as we help others.  And learning to really love is what having
ferrets is all about.
 
I hope this helps some of you to find some peace this holiday season.
My very best wishes,
 
Melissa
Mishka, Buttons, Brenna, Spring (and Tasha, Bailey and Nookie on the other
side)
[Posted in FML issue 3632]