The Grand Ferret Adventures
This Week s Episode:
Riordan & Tweak: In Under the Bed (Digging to China)
 
Part One
We enter the scene with Riordan lying on his back, absent-mindedly
running his fingers back and forth on the corner of the cardboard box he
occupies.
 
I am SO bored!  he says with an exasperated sigh to the Siamese looking
ferret that s stretched out on the floor below him.
 
You said that *gurgle chomp* 2 minutes ago *swallow chomp chomp* Rio!
she replies in between mouthfuls of her warty purple ball.
 
Yes but I m BORED!  Can t we do something, Tweak?  Please?  He whined
Throwing her head back and rolling her eyes (carefully avoiding one of
the many tubes and gadgets sticking out from the box,) Tweak ignored Rio
s pleading and continued to chomp on her chew toy.  A plastic fish
(obviously chewed upon) lay nearby.  A few minutes of blissful silence
ensued, but only a few minutes.
 
I VE GOT IT!  Rio yelled, suddenly sitting up.  He jumped down off the
box, completely oblivious to the great startled heap of female ferret
that lay in a poofed out jumble next to him.  Gathering herself, Tweak
untangled her legs and smoothed her fur, throwing Rio a look that plainly
said I d like to bite your neck, and stash you in a place you ll never
get out of We can dig through the guitar amplifier!  he continued,
ignoring her murderous stare.
 
 We did that last week!  came the frustrated squeak of a reply.
 Well, how about we play king of the shelving?
 We knocked all the books off last time and they haven t been replaced yet
 Creature from the great dirty laundry pile?
 No, today was wash day
 Pop goes the weasel?
 Oh for the love of ferretone! NO!
 
Forty-five minutes later:
What about hide and seek?
 
 No
 
 Freeze tag?
 
No
 
 War dancing marathon?
 
No
 
What about Marco Polo?
 
Tweak paused, and then replied.  Yes, lets play Marco Polo.  You be
marco.  I ll be polo Okay, get ready!  You have 20 seconds!  One, two..
 
With that Tweak sighed, picked up warty the ball and fish the fish and
scampered off.  Climbing the bed box she slipped inside and curled up in
one of the winter sweaters that had been put away for the summer.
 
We re finally free she said to her chew toys, which had been lovingly
placed in the sweater next to hers.  Before she fell asleep, she
whispered a responding polo to the far off call of marco.
 
Outside of the bed box, Rio stumbled around calling Marco over and over
again.
 
Ouch!  Marco!  Oof!  Marco!  He called as he stumbled into the chest of
drawers. Hearing nothing he continued.  Marc-AHHH!  falling over the fan
cord and landing in a litter box he finally gave up. Opening his eyes he
looked around. There was no sign of Tweak.
 
Oooo!  Girls are NO fun!  he cried.  Now I ve got to go find her!  He
searched high and low and side to side, but there was still no sign of
Tweak.  Finally, he came to the bed box, and decided to check to see if
she was in there.  Crawling in, he let his eyes adjust to the dark.  Then
to his utter displeasure, he found Tweak, happily snoozing away in a dark
red sweater.
 
HEY!  You re not supposed to be sleeping!  Riordan hissed angrily as he
pounced on Tweak s sleeping form.
 
Geroff meh!
 
If you don t get up I m going to steal Warty and Fish and flush them down
the big litter box!
 
And if you don t get off me, I m going to flush YOU down the big litter
box
 
Fine!
 
Rio jumped down onto the floor, but instead of being a sturdy landing,
the floor sunk down an inch.  Catching his balance.  Rio eyes widened and
he looked up at Tweak.
 
I think I ve been eating too much ferretvite!  I must have gained a whole
pound!  Tweak, I made the floor sink!
 
Don t be foolish!  You re just imagining things.  Tweak said sleepily
looking at the spot where Riordan stood.  Rubbing her eyes, she did a
double take.  It appeared as if Rio was footless!
 
Rio, the floor DID sink!
 
I told you!
 
Jumping down and landing well away from the sinking floor, Tweak tiptoed
over to investigate.  Rio stepped off the depressed floorboard, but his
efforts to be dainty were destroyed as he tripped and crashed nose first
into a box of thick socks.  Tweak just rolled her eyes and sighed as if
to say, It s happened a million times before.  Rio picked himself up and
came back over to sniff the floor with Tweak.  Nosing the board, they
found that it moved easily.
 
Lets try to dig it up!  Rio said enthusiastically.
 
You know, that s the first good idea you ve had all day, replied Tweak
with a smirk.  And so they proceeded to dig and scratch at the edges of
the floorboard trying to pry it up.  After much grunting and frustrated
chattering they succeeded in their mission, and what they discovered was
mind blowing (well, if your mind is the size of a ferrets) They
discovered a
 
        What did Rio & Tweak Discover?
 
Join us tomorrow, for the next installment of
Riordan & Tweak: Under the Bed (Digging to China)
[Posted in FML issue 4613]