OK, now you went and done it, Alexandra...
 
I painstakingly wrote my post with the least amount of bathroom activity
(other than the one-man ferret circus part), just so the FMLer's wouldn't
read my post and be so queasy that they couldn't eat breakfast.  Let's
just say I'm not as confused as I appear.  I know the seating options
available to men, and by god, I required option 2, which has nothing to
do with dignity.  Enough said.  Sorry FMLer's.  Eat later.
 
As for bringing in my algebra book... yes, it was a faux pas, a
miscalculation, even an etourderie (I don't even know what this word
means, but just the raw sound of it reminds me of my math book's demise).
And while it wasn't my original intention, my book WAS tested for
strength and absorbancy, by default if nothing else.  I don't know how
strong it was, exactly, but it was plenty absorbant.  It should be, for
one hundred and six dollars plus tax.
 
As far as mental bathroom multi-tasking, I usually prefer the Zen-like
grunt and go method, but I thank you for your insight as to why I usually
have to wait so long to get in there.
 
Roary
Albuquerque, NM
blog - http://ferretphilosophy.blogspot.com/
 
ps.  Dusty has been acting strangely since this incident.  While he
wanders near the bathroom, he no longer steps inside.  He will sit
outside the door just looking at me, at least until the toilet flushes,
then his tail poofs and he runs off as if being chased by rabid badgers.
[Posted in FML issue 5017]