Q: "Why did you say at the symposium that the [ferret] dental problem
is so important that you are willing to go anywhere to talk about it?
Aren't they just worn teeth?"
 
Q: "At the symposium I heard you say you would you go anywhere to talk to
any clubis that true?  What subjects would you talk about?"
 
A: Hey, I said a lot of things at the symposium, but the trauma of
losing my shorts in front of everyone made my brain trash most of them.
Speaking of trash, do you know why there are no garbage cans in Congress?
The Republicans toss their garbage at the Democrats, the Democrats throw
theirs at the Republicans, and the reporters take it all out and put it
on TV.  If you think that is pathetic, just remember who is watching the
TV...
 
I absolutely would go anywhere and everywhere I could possibly schedule
to visit.  I would even go where I know some of the people didnt like
me, or even hated me...well, with a single exception.  My only
requirement is that the group (or groups) pays for the cost of gas (or
plane ticket).  I've already agreed to speak at 18 events from coast to
coast during 2005 (some already visited), and I can no longer afford to
pick up all costs now that gas is so expensive.  In most cases, I'd
prefer to drive, but it just depends on the situation.  Hey, I'm not
afraid of flying; I just enjoy driving so much.  Oh yeah, in the past
I've willingly stopped and talked to other groups while traveling, but
because people are paying for the trip, I won't be making unscheduled
stops.  If you want me to stop, I'll let you contact the other groups
and work out shared arraignments for gas costs.
 
I try to adapt each talk to the requirements of the people making the
request, but I have five presentations that are on Powerpoint, overhead
transparencies, and printed on poster boards, so I can meet the
audio-visual needs of any location (I usually bring all three in case
of unforeseen problems).
The presentations are:
A) Dental Damage in Ferrets Caused by Kibble,
B) Carbohydrates and the Ferret's Diet,
C) Environmental Enrichment for Ferrets,
D) Ferret Domestication, and
E) Ten Things Every Vet Should Know About Ferrets (And A Few Things About
Ferret Owners).
 
Each presentation can be timed to last 30, 45, or 60 minutes, and I can
present any or all of them at any single talk.  I can also play the
"Stump Bob C With Your Questions" game, and I think I've been stumped
twice or thrice in the last 5 years.  My only caveat is that I am not
a vet, so I will not practice veterinary medicine by diagnosing ferret
medical problems, discuss specific medications and doses, or try to
double guess any vet that is treating a particular ferret.  I will
discuss those issues in a general sense -- even tell you if you need
a second opinion -- but nothing specific.
 
Right now I am pushing the ferret dental disease issue as hard as I can,
which is why I decided not to go to New Zealand this year so I could give
this important issue the effort it deserves.  I faced the ethical dilemma
of knowing kibble was causing a serious problem and not saying much, or
educate people about the harm and not going to New Zealand.  Not much of
an ethical dilemma really.  Kibble-worn teeth is a serious problem, and
because the FML perhaps reaches only maybe a thousandth of the people
that own ferrets, there are really only three ways to combat it: convince
vets, convince pet owners, and convince kibble makers.  I am trying my
best to do all three as soon as possible, and the best way to do that is
away from the FML and in person, showing the photos, the teeth if I need
to, proving the problem exists to both lay persons and experts, and
immediately answering all questions.
 
What I present are the findings of my skeletal research -- more than
six years of measuring and documenting the changes in ferrets due to
domestication.  What I am basically doing is opening up the dental
findings to public scrutiny.  This type of openness in scientific
research is not unprecedented, but it is generally quite unusual.  I
am showing everything and letting people come to the conclusions
themselves... in essence, placing my own neck on the chopping block for
anyone with a better idea.  Can you imagine the public humiliation that
could occur if anyone saw the photos, recognized I made a mistake, and
then proclaimed my ineptitude in the identification of bone and dental
pathology?  I'm taking a great public risk; I am either a complete idiot,
know what I am talking about (perhaps both).  Well, if I am an idiot,
then so are the pathologists, dentists, and veterinarians that have
reviewed the photos and teeth, so we can all be in the same club.  There
is no smoke and mirrors here; I will show you what happens to the teeth
when a ferret habitually bites a cage, chews toys, and eats kibble.  You
will see what happens to the bone supporting the teeth when periodontal
disease is allowed to remain in the ferret's mouth.  You will get to see
how frequent abscesses are, how often ferrets lose teeth, and exactly why
ferrets cannot use their back molars for chewing.
 
That risk exists not just from those who honestly recognize a mistake,
but also from those who might decide to confuse the issue by creating
controversy rather than addressing the issues in an honest way.  What if
someone saw the photos and decided to muddy the issue by proposing dozens
of unlikely hypothetical causes, or to even choose the more disingenuous
route by proclaiming, "We really don't know what is a safe rate of dental
wear!" You already see this type of confusion with the issue of
carbohydrates in the ferret's diet.  Let me explain this in a bit more
detail.
 
It has been long proven that mink, weasels, polecats, and ferrets have
noas in zerocarbohydrate requirement (I have references that go back 50
years).  It is not a mustelid trait in general, but it seems all members
of the Genus Mustela lack carbohydrate requirements, which includes
weasels, stoats, mink, polecats, and ferrets.  All these species are
considered "hypercarnivores," which is determined by the ratio of molar
area to remaining tooth surfaces (the ferret has zero molar surface area
for grinding food).  Hypercarnivory is highly correlated to the natural
diet (evolutionary diet), and while these species may opportunely consume
a small amount of carbohydrates from bowel contents or seasonal fruits,
these are infrequent and quite different in makeup and quantity from
the daily influx of highly processed carbohydrates found in kibble.
 
Additionally, the oft resorted to hypothesis that domestication "must
have changed the nutritional requirements of ferrets" requires SOME
degree of proof, of which there is absolutely none (these are
suppositions, having little evidence and no proof.  One of my professors
used to say that if people put suppositions where they put suppositories,
there would be a lot fewer muddled up debates).  Additionally, it assumes
such a change could have survived the all-too-common practice of breeding
ferrets back to polecats, which is so commoneven nowthat geneticists
have been unable to define which polecat is the progenitor.  The
suggestion that such a shift might have occurred during the
"milk-and-bread" portion of ferret captivity again is a supposition that
requires proof, especially important considering they were also being
bred back to polecats at the same time.  The hypothesis that the changes
only occurred in North American ferrets eating kibble has absolutely no
proof (or even evidence), plus it cannot answer the ongoing problem of
insulinoma in European ferrets, estimated by several European vets to
roughly match the rates seen in North American ferrets.  One European vet
told me they see insulinoma tumors in 60%-70% of ferrets, which is close
to what I have seen in the necropsies I perform on the ferrets in the
skeletal study (not all insulinomas result in observable disease, or
only cause infrequent problems).
 
[Posted in FML issue 4876]