I couldn't locate the Original parody to Garth Brooks' "Friends in Low Places",
so I rewrote it.
Here goes:
 
 Fiends in Low Places
 
 Blame it all on the press,
 cos' we're in this mess.
 They've branded us killers before.
 
 We're the last ones to know,
 Just how far they'll go,
 to peddle the blood and the gore.
 
 It's not a surprise
 that the rumours and lies
 all help with their ratings sweep gain.
 
 Yeah, we've nipped a few
 but the pit bulls have, too,
 and it's our turn to complain...
 
 Chorus)
 We're not fiends in low places
 with our whiskers waxed
 and our masked faces
 for evil play ('least not today...)
 
 We've got loads of social graces
 and we're not that fond of chewing faces
 oh, we're not fiends... in low places.
 
 (2)
 Now it might be wrong
 to doctor Garth's song
 but, then, it's been done before.
 
 And the news-folks at night
 may think it's alright
 to say ferrets stink to the core.
 
 They'll label us mean
 while our good goes unseen
 and say that we all should be banned.
 
 Then someone gets bit
 by a pot-bellied pig
 and things get way out of hand...
 
 (Repeat chorus)
 
      (no apologies to Garth Dooks whatsoever...)
 
Rog
[Posted in FML issue 1297]