"Adventures of the Starship Raisinprize"
"Episode 1 - Transmission 1 of 5"
These are the missions of the Starship Raisinprize. Its five year
mission to seek out new toes and potted plants. To boldly dig where no
ferret has dug before. (cool music now)
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"Captain s Poopie ... uh, sorry ... Log. This is James T. Dook,
Captain ... of the USS Raisinprize. It has been five ... WHOLE ...
minutes since our crew ... has gotten into ... (real long pause) ...
mischief. Tension ... IS ... mounting."
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CAPTAIN DOOK: "Lieutenant Tension, please get off of Communications
Specialist Upoopoo and report to Doctor Bones for immediate neutering."
LIEUTENANT TENSION: "Yes sir" (runs to turbo chute while muttering)
"How come the captain gets all the jills?"
CAPTAIN: "Upoopoo, please broadcast the following message through out
the ship."
UPOOPOO: "Yes sir!"
CAPTAIN: (Speaking to entire crew) "It has been over 400 years since
the Ferret Liberation Organization (F.L.O.). has taken over Earth.
Peace has reigned. Our servants, the humans, have optimized raisin
production and all ferrets have full access to potted plants. Disease
has been eradicated. There is only one problem. WE ... ARE ... BORED.
Hence our top specialists have designed the Ultra Super Sneaky (USS)
Raisinprize. This is the most advanced starship ever created. F.L.O.
has been reassembled. Our new mission is to Liberate the galaxy ... of
stuff. We will..."
BEEP ... BLARP ... BEEP
LIEUTENANT SULU: "Sir, computers indicate are passing very close to some
sort of gravitational anomaly."
CAPTAIN: "Sock, put those pointy ears to use. WHAT ... IS .... IT?"
SOCK: "Sir, using my absurdly precise logical ability, and the cue cards
over by the camera, I believe I have the answer. It appears to be a
gravitational flux-well in the form of a tunnel that travels through
space and time, allowing a bold, dashing, and rather romantic Hob to
travel to distant parts of the galaxy. I can not determine it s other
nexus."
CAPTAIN: "You mean a Hidey-Hole?" (Sock nods) "Checkov, enter its
coordinates into the navigational computer. Checkov? Where is the
navigation officer? Everybody! Start searching!"
SULU: "Found him. He is under the control console. He appears to be
dead!"
CAPTAIN: "Medical Emergency. Bones to the bridge!"
TWEET ... THWAP (The turbo chute doors open)
BONES: (Chewing on a chicken bone) "What is the problem?"
CAPTAIN: "Something evil and horrible and plot enhancing has killed
Lieutenant Checkov. What happened? And are there any distressed jills
involved?"
BONES: (Drops the chicken bone and scurries over to the control console
and inspects the victim) "He's not dead Jim! Just asleep!"
CAPTAIN: "Well wake him up!"
BONES: "Dammit Jim, I'm a doctor, not an alarm clock!"
CHECKOV: (opens his eyes, yawns, and returns to his post) "Vat did I
miiss?"
(to be continued)
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Bryan P. Coffey - Boston, MA
The Weasel Warriors - Albi, Esef, Merri & Mint
http://www.gis.net/~bpcoffey/furball.html
[Posted in FML issue 2712]
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