Dear Ferret Folks-
 
I had company last night, three people who like ferrets but have never
lived with them.  They showed up unexpectedly while the ladies, Switch
and Sabrina, were having some time to run free in the house.  That meant
I had to have 'The Talk' with my guests.  Here are some of the highlights
of 'The Talk' for ferret-free visitors to my home.  I give it with a
straight face, it's great to watch THEIR expressions as they struggle to
take it all in.
 
1) Do not leave a beverage unattended, ever.  It will be tasted, and
summarily upended.  Coffee, soda, it doesn't matter.  You will find the
back half of a weasel sticking out of the cup at some point in time.
 
2) If you see any laundry on the floor, leave it alone and make sure you
don't step on it.  Even an innocent looking jacket or towel on the floor
may be occupied at any point in time.
 
3) Don't think I'm mad at you if I start yelling about dirt out of the
blue.  Commands such as "Get out of that plant!", and "Stay away from
the bag of potting soil!" are invariably directed at weasels, no need to
freak out.  You are not involved.
 
As a visit progresses I find I am expected to explain many things to my
guests.
 
"What the hell is under your chair?  A ferret."
"What the hell is in your jacket?  A ferret.
"What the hell just brushed by your foot?  A ferret."
"What the hell just stole your shoe?  A ferret."
"What the hell is in your purse?  A ferret."
"What the hell left a rubber rat in your jacket/shoe/purse?  A ferret."
"What the hell is eating the dog's food?  A ferret."
"What the hell just tried to climb up the leg of your pants?  A ferret."
 
the ladies just loooove playing with guests, they make great toys!
 
Alexandra in Massachusetts
[Posted in FML issue 3780]