12. Any closed door or cabinet or drawer must be opened!  It is every
ferret's duty to get into any area that the 2 legs say's is off limits!
Remember this is one of the main jobs of being a ferret -- to get into
every hole, nook, or cranny -- or even a room -- that the 2 legs don't
want you to be in.  However if it is s room, you may have to wait for the 2
legs to come and open the door.  Run as fast as you can between their feet!
Now we have a problem: if you stop to do the dance of joy and give a few
well earned dooks, the 2 legs will get you.  You must be quick!  The old
hands will tell you.  limit your celebration to just one or two little hops
with your eyes on the 2 legs and only a dook or two, then dive for cover!
Those 2 legs can really move fast when they think you are winning.
 
13. Garbage cans.  Ah, yes , this can be the most rewarding.  They must be
explored ...deeply.  And they must be emptied right down to the very
bottom!  If you can tip it over, all the better (you might need to get some
help for this if their is any available).  The bigger the mess, er ,pile of
goodies you can spread out the higher the point value, again artistic
patterns add point value.  (I had a 30 pointer one day.  Oh the
"Sun-River-Bridges" that were heard that day!  It was my best work yet!)
 
14. Remember the back-to-the-wall trick?  Well it comes in handy if you
are trying to climb up to the top of a cabinet.  Place your back to the
wall, feet to the back of the cabinet, and just walk up the thing.  (It
will drive the 2 legs crazy trying to figure out how you got up there.)
 
15. 2 legs just cleaned and filled your water bowl?  Take a mouthful of
dry food and drop it into the water then go dunking for chow.  If the food
sinks, place your head under water, blow bubbles.  But remember not to
smell (been there, done that, won't do it again).
 
16. The last and maybe the most important thing: "The Look" Cage down,
canary missing, caught with yellow feathers between teeth?  Eyes wide:
"What?  Who?  MEEEE?  Cream Puff missing, caught with cream and powdered
sugar on whiskers?  Eyes wide: "What?  Who?  MEEE?"
 
As you can see, this covers a lot of misunderstandings.  Oh, Yeah, one more
thing, never, I mean never look the 2 legs in the eye.  Simply turn your
head and yawn.
 
Well that about it, again remember never let the 2 legs get their hands on
our book, keep those points coming, who knows, you might win Ferret of the
Year!
[Posted in FML issue 2786]