Drew, I feel so much for you being the age you are and not being able to
understand death.  We oldies don't understand it all the way either, we
just accept it more.
 
I feel you did the right thing.  YOu were able to enjoy Little One for
this one short year and you were taught the love of the animal: to give,
to return, to receive.  No one knows why it happens the one YOU pick had a
"defect".  But that was what happened.  The little darling was given to you
for a very short period of time, it had a purpose and it apparently served
that purpose.
 
Usually children are born very selfish and as we "mature" we learn to put
other things first above what we want, even when it hurts.  You sound like
you have matured beyond your age to have been able to think beyond just
being able to keep your ferret but what it would feel to continue to stay
in this world a little longer.  It might have been something that surgery
could have corrected on the other hand something which would have given him
poor life quality, not something you could know at the spare of the moment.
For Little One to be sick where they could run tests to find out what was
wrong, there may have been a higher hope but to have gone so far for the
heart to stop on its own, chances were more on the side of something very
very serious.  Your Mom is quite a woman too, to have not taken things into
her own hands and made the decision for you, she allowed you that decision
and that is a lesson in life you may have to make over and over again as
you make your way through.
 
Do not be ashamed of those tears.  They make you what you are - a tender
caring individual and its something God gave us to release the hurt and
pain inside, to be able to cry.
 
Please don't let this make you harden inside nor think thoughts you won't
allow yourself to feel for another one as you opened up to this one - cause
no matter the pain right now, the feelings you have while you share these
little lives is what life is really all about.
 
Bless you.
 
Millie & her noble cleaning crew
[Posted in FML issue 2491]