Q: "....So what is the best way to restrain a ferret when doing something
    nasty to it?"
 
A: I know there's a joke in those last five words....
 
There is active and passive restraint.  Passive restraint is basically
getting the ferret to forget what is going on by misdirecting it's
attention elsewhere.  For example, a drop or two of ferrettone, honey, or
nutrical on the ferret's belly will often give you enough time to clip
claws or even clean ears (depending on the ferret and it's greed for the
treat).  Cuddling and grooming can also be pretty good distractions.  A
lot of time, you just have experiment and try different things.
 
Another method is active restraint.  The method employs actual physical
restraint of the ferret, which has results which vary depending on the
temperament and psychological state of the animal.  The simplest form of
physical restraint is scruffing the ferret, which USUALLY works well for
ear cleaning and minor physical and dental exams.  Some ferrets, like Tui,
are immune to scruffing and it actually pisses him off!  He will turn
inside his skin and bite the crap out of you for trying it.  For Tui, I
simply wrap him up in a towel, making sure I pin his legs, but I have to
tell you, towels don't always work.  A more drastic approach uses two
people, one holds the neck and shoulders firmly with one hand (with the
hand above and behind the neck to prevent bites), while the other hand
holds the butt area.  The second person does the work on the ferrets and
applies Band-Aids to the ferret holder later.
 
If you can find a veterinary supply house, you can purchase actual
restraints for problem animals (I am thinking of angry fear biters).  This
is a really good option for large shelters which get in a lot of wild and
woolly ferrets.  You may not have to buy one; it is possible to look at one
in a catalog or at your vet's office, then build a substitute.  To handle
mink, I used a section of 2 by 4 and just whacked them.  NOT!  I did use
the 2 by 4, but I used velcro strips to restrain the mink, which was
straddling the narrow part of the plank.  It worked very well when you
restrained the neck, shoulders, back and rear legs.
 
Perhaps other FML members could post their favorite methods of ferret
restraint.
 
Bob C and 16 Mo'
[Posted in FML issue 3025]