Stace Stenchura, Vet Detective
"Stace, I need ya in here. We have a new case, now." Chief called over the
 intercom.
Stace walked into the office.  When he got there he looked around at all the
things Chief had in his room -- Ferretone, hammocks, tents, toys -- boy, he
had the life.  He walked over to the Chief's desk.
"Chief!" he looked up in surprise. "Why do you have a cigarette in your
 mouth?"
"Image."
"Image! Don't you know there are kids in the audience?  Haven't you read the
 Surgeon General's warning about ferrets and cigarettes?"
"No."
"Well, neither have I, but there's got to be one."
"Are you sure?"
"Um...no..."
"Well, then, may I keep it in my mouth?"
"No. I won't take any case unless you put that thing out."
"But I got it  outta my hidey-hole," the Chief protested. "It's one of my
 treasures."
Stace crossed his arms over his chest and looked up at the ceiling, ignoring
his boss.
"Okay -- okay. I give up," Chief said, throwing the cigarette out the window.
"Thank you," Stace sounded smug.
"Now, about this case..." the Chief began.
"Do I smell something?"
"What do you mean?" the Chief sounded exasperated.
"I MEAN, do I smell something?"
"Something like..."
"Chief, what've you got under your desk?" Stace sounded repulsed.
"Okay, okay. You caught me." the Chief pulled out a stash of socks from
underneath the desk. "They9'e been down there for a month. They were just
getting ripe. Please don't make me throw these out, too. For a ferret, you're
no fun, Stace Stenchura."
"C'mon, Chief. We have to be serious here. Throw them out."
The Chief complied, then turned to Stace. "Now that you have wrecked my day,
can we get down to what this is all about?
"Sure, sir. I think everything is fine now," Stace agreed.
"Okay then.  Our current case is about a sprite named Belle.  She's been at
this vet for quite some time, like someone's been boarding her or something.
Anyway, she's been there for a whole month, and she's starting to think her
people have abandoned her."
"Abandoned her?" Stace looked worried.
"Yeah, abandoned. Some people do that, y'know, if they don't think things
through first before they get a pet. Or, her people could be on vacation. Or
maybe something happened to them. Like anyone would, she'd really like to
know."
"Okay, Chief. I will take this case. But just one stipulation."
"Yes?"
"No socks and cigarettes while I'm gone, k?"
[Posted in FML issue 1751]